


Infatuation

by Sherlocks_wand



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hogwarts Seventh Year, M/M, Marauders' Era, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlocks_wand/pseuds/Sherlocks_wand
Summary: It's the Marauder's last year in Hogwarts. Finally, Remus and Sirius realise their feelings for each other as do Lily and James. All seems right in the world. But there still is a war looming over them all and maybe the greatest betrayal in the world is soon to happen.





	1. Chapter 1

“Moony?”

The lanky boy was so startled by his nickname being spoken directly into his ear, that he nearly fell from the comfy chair he was sat on, reading a book.

“Hey Sirius,” he said after he had somewhat recovered from the shock, “I didn’t hear you coming.”

The other boy grinned and threw back his hair dramatically. “I’ve been calling you for the past five minutes.” Remus blushed, hiding behind his book, but his friend snatched it from him.

“No hiding from me! You know it makes me feel unwanted.” Remus rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatic antics.

“What did you want?” He asked feigning annoyance.

“Just to tell you that Prongs got Evans to go out with him.” He said casually, leaning back against the nearby table and inspecting his nails, as if this wasn’t the biggest news there could be.

“He did?” Remus jumped up. “But how?”

Sirius smirked, before sighing long and dramatically as if he was going to recite a Shakespearean monologue every second. In a very grave voice he explained: “He asked.” Remus opened his mouth, but was too stunned to say anything, so he closed it again. He just asked? Could that be right? But why would Sirius be lying to him? They were friends after all, and surely, after years of pursuit, James would’ve included him if he had been planning something special. He bit his lip, deep in thought and didn’t notice how the movement caught Sirius’ eye.

The black-haired boy stared at his friend’s mouth, transfixed, as he often did these days. Or had he always been doing it? He didn’t know. But whenever Remus bit his lip - which was often - he got the urge to bite it himself. To feel the soft flesh bruise, to mark it as his. He shook his head violently to rid himself of those thoughts. He didn’t even know whether Remus was gay, much less if he would be interested in him. So it was useless to spend his days dreaming about him. But still…

In the end, Remus decided to just go and ask James how he had finally gotten the girl of his dreams to go out with him. He could really use the advice. Not that there necessarily was a girl of his dreams… No, his crush was definitely no girl. Even with his long hair, he could never be mistaken for one. His defined and sharp cheekbones and his strong nose made that impossible.

* * *

 

He sighed and straightened, preparing for the walk through the castle. The days before full moon everything seemed a bit harder to do, especially climbing thousands of stairs. And he knew exactly where Prongs would be right now, the top of the astronomy tower, probably with Peter in his tow.

“You wanna come with?” He asked Sirius, before noting that the other boy wasn’t there anymore. Sighing again, he left the common room, not noticing the pair of eyes that was following him from behind Marlene McKinnon’s bush of hair.

The girl had dragged Sirius away from his friend while he had been distracted, promptly pushed him in a chair, and sat down on his lap. Sirius knew that the girl was infatuated with him and he also knew that his constant flirting with everyone wasn’t helping in this case. But he just couldn’t help it. He was charmingly nice and he couldn’t stand to hurt a girl with whom he had been good friends for years. Even though he knew that in the end not telling her right away would hurt her even more. He sighed and buried his head in Marlene’s hair, which probably wasn’t a good idea. The girl went rigid, before abandoning her homework and turning around on her crushes lap, her legs dangling from the sides.

“Sirius?” She asked silently, her mouth brushing his ear. It made him shiver, but not with anticipation, but rather with disgust. Not for Marlene, of course not, but for himself. He should be turned on by this. He should want to take her right here, not caring who saw. He should be overcome with desire by now. But instead all he felt was a strong urge to get away and to chase after Remus. The thought of his friend made him blush, which the girl on his lap mistook as a sign of pleasure.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” She purred, her hands dangerously close to the joining of his legs. Sirius bolted up, throwing the blonde bluntly to the floor.

“Ow!” She complained, holding her head with her left hand. “If you didn’t want to, you could’ve just said so.” She was scowling, but he knew that underneath her facade lay genuine hurt. He held out his hand to help her up, and thankfully after a minute of consideration, the girl took it and pulled herself up.

“Sorry,” Sirius mumbled. “I just realised that I have detention with Slug in five minutes, and I can’t be late again. See you.” With that he slipped out of the busy common room into the calm corridors. It was warm for March and whenever he passed a window Sirius walked slower to take in the sun. His excuse hadn’t been illogical. He always got in detention for something or the other. He wondered where Moony had gone. He would like the other boy’s company. He always did.

* * *

 

Breathing hard, Remus climbed the last few stairs and opened the trap door that led to the outside of the tower. He pushed himself up and could already make out Prongs’ feet. He made sure to close the trapdoor, with some noise, but not too loudly, so that the other boy wouldn’t startle and accidentally fall off the tower.

“Hey Moony!” James was already standing in front of him when he turned around again, though, grinning as brightly as if it had just been announced that You-Know-Who was dead. Yep, Remus thought, Lilly definitively said yes.

“James!” Remus hugged his friend, clapping him on the back a few times. “How’d you do it?” He asked when he pulled away, trying to appear calm, but knowing that he must appear a bit too eager for it to be a casual question. James smirked, as if he knew exactly why Remus was asking, but didn’t say anything for a while. Then, he sat down with a long sigh, indicating for his friend to do the same.

“I just asked Moony. But not like I always do.”

The werewolf grinned knowingly, remembering the hundreds of times James had hollered some version of the words “Go out with me!” At the red haired girl when they passed her in the hallway.

“No, this time-” the raven haired boy continued “-I just went up to her when she was alone, handed her some flower I had picked on the grounds and asked.” He smiled as if in trance, and Remus was sure that his friend was reliving the scene for the about hundredth time today. “And then… she just said yes. And that I should make the date something special. Which is why I’m here. I need to prepare the best date this world has ever seen, and that required some thinking.”

“Maybe a picnic under the full moon.” Moony laughed. James looked at him bewildered for a moment, looking as if he was indeed taking his friend seriously. Then though, he broke into laughter too.

“Very funny, Moony.” He breathed, with emphasis on his friend’s nickname.

“God, we have to tell Padfoot that one. He’ll find it hilarious.” Nearly immediately Remus giggle fit subsided and he was blushing. James, of course, noticed this, but stayed silent. He had watched his two best friends fall in love with each other for the past two years, but he had never said anything. He wanted to know what they made of it themselves. So he just sat at the sidelines, cheering them on silently and hoping that they would soon realise how much they liked each other. He grinned. Or maybe, now that he had finally gotten the girl of his dreams, it was time to help their process along so that they could be just as happy as himself. Yes, he decided, that was indeed a good idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus sat there for a while, leaning against his friend, listening to him talk about various ideas for dates, one better than the other. The sun was warm on his skin and together with the pleasant chatter of James’ voice, Remus had soon dozed off. He startled, when the loud bang of the trap door sounded.

“There you are!” He heard Sirius call from somewhere behind him. He smiled, picturing the casual but also dramatic kick with which his friend closed the door. James immediately got up, hugging his best friend before sitting down again, this time far away from Remus, leaving enough space for Sirius to sit beside him. The werewolf couldn’t hold back his grin when, despite the space that was still left, Sirius sat down so that he was touching Remus. Immediately the two black-haired boys started discussing different date ideas, one being a picnic on the treetops of the forbidden forest. The werewolf smiled at his friends’ enthusiasm and leaned against Sirius, again dozing off. He was always so tired before the full moon.

Sirius’ body went rigid when Remus full weight slumped against him. He had fallen asleep. Not daring to move in any way, Sirius tried relaxing his muscles. Oblivious to his other friend’s smile, he stared at the friend sleeping on his shoulder for a while. Then a loud noise forced the black-haired boy out of his trance. Peter had found them and opened the trapdoor clumsily, so that it fell to the floor with a loud bang.

“Shit.” Wormtail muttered under his breath, making his friends giggle. Remus just slept on, not even disturbed by the movement of his friends body. He only slid off the shoulder and into Sirius’ lap, making certain parts of the other boy stir uncomfortably. He sighed and tried to relax, though it was impossible now. Peter, who had come to fetch James for an actual detention, looked at Sirius with not so well hidden disgust. He had always been the one least prone to being touchy and had always regarded his friends friendly handling with distaste. James followed the smaller boy down the ladder, a smile still playing at his lips and a plan already forming in his mind.

“Remus?” Sirius shook the boy gently, finally moving his aching muscles after what must’ve been at least an hour of sitting stiffly and letting Remus sleep. The other boy stirred, but simply turned around, his eyes still closed, now facing more private parts of Sirius.

“Remus! It’s getting cold!” He said, now louder, sitting the other boy up. He was so light that it was easy to hold his frame up and Sirius decided that tonight at dinner he would stuff his friend full of food, no matter how often he said that he wasn’t hungry.

“5 minutes…” Remus murmured still not opening his eyes. He looked so cute and innocent in that moment that an urge to kiss him overcame Sirius so strong that it took all his strength not to give in to it, though it would have surely succeeded in waking him up.

Instead he just said: “It’s time for dinner.” And got up, pulling the other boy with him. Without Remus resting on him, warming him he shivered. Since it had gotten dark, the air had cooled down quite drastically and Sirius was eager to get back down in the warm castle. Finally, Remus opened is eyes, though reluctantly, and followed the black-haired boy to the great hall, where Peter was already waiting for them. James was still serving his detention, so they sat down and started eating.

* * *

 

Remus sighed as Sirius heaved a third helping of mashed potatoes on his plate.

“I’m really not hungry anymore!” He groaned, but picked up his spoon, knowing that no matter how much he complained, Sirius wouldn’t let him leave if he didn’t eat it. Peter had left them a good half an hour ago, claiming to have some Charms homework he had to finish. Remus feared though, that he was still uncomfortable with what happened on the tower that afternoon. Even though - sadly - nothing had really happened. Little did he know that Peter was acting on James’ instructions to leave them alone as often as possible. Though reluctantly, the mouse-faced boy had agreed, after his friend had offered him chocolate for him.

James had always thought of Peter as a little too malleable, but right now it suited him.

“Is everything okay?” Sirius asked, noting the worried expression on his crush’s face.

“Well, firstly, I’m full to the brim. I think if I eat one more bite, I’m gonna explode. But also… I worry that Peter is avoiding us. I don’t like to think that body contact could destroy the marauders.”

Sirius laughed, though it was tense. “Of course it won’t. Peter’ll be fine again tomorrow, you’ll see.” He tried smiling encouragingly, but Remus wasn’t convinced. He pushed his plate away, and though he bestowed it with a very motherly look that said: “You should really eat up.” Sirius let it be.

Thankful for his friend’s lack of commentary, Remus got up, hoping to get to bed right away. After all, tomorrow he would get very little sleep on top of the exhaustion that came with the transformation. Still he smiled when he thought about wandering the grounds with his friends.

“You ready for tomorrow?” Sirius asked on their way up, apparently having read Remus’ mind.

“Absolutely. I hope we’ll finally get to explore the east side of the forest for the map. It irks me that there is still a piece missing.” Sirius grinned and patted his friend on the shoulder, even though he would have much rather gone in for a kiss.

Again, he shook his head, trying to chase away the thoughts of his lips on Remus. Remus, who thought Sirius was shaking his head over the ridiculousness of what he said, looked down and blushed, simultaneously stepping out of reach from the black-haired boy. Sirius scowled at that, missing the contact of Remus, even though it had just been his hand on the other’s back. He tried getting closer again, but stumbled and now Remus was standing pressed between him and the wall. Their whole bodies were touching and it felt unbearable to both of them. Especially with their faces mere centimetres from each other. They were both breathing hard, looking into each other’s eyes. Just in the moment that Sirius decided that, fuck it, he was just going to kiss his friend, damn the consequences, Peter appeared.

Despite James’ promise of a chocolate bar, he had gone looking for his two missing friends, neither able to stand being alone in the full common room and the thoughts about what his friends could be doing right now. Now, he let out a squeak and ran back into the corridor he had come from, upon seeing them, pressed against a wall, clearly too occupied with each other to have heard him coming. His squeal had yanked them out of their trance though, and they stumbled away from each other hastily, apologizing to nobody in particular.

“Peter?” Remus called, already fearing that they’d endangered their friendship even more. The small boy came out of the corridor again, though still blushing.

“Hey Moony.” He greeted, ignoring the black-haired boy, as he had looked as if he had caused what Moony had claimed to be an accident. Though Peter wasn’t so sure. He had seen Sirius look at their friend inappropriately before. He should probably warn Remus at one point. His poor friend was so naive and didn’t see what was going on right before his eyes. Yes, he would help him, Peter decided. Tonight, he would tell him all about what Sirius was planning.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus had just settled in the comfiest chair by the fire after completing his homework, far enough from Sirius that he wouldn’t have to deal with the constant urge to pull the Black heir into his lap and kiss him, when Peter approached him. The rat-faced boy looked nervous, as he nearly always did these days, and spoke silently.

“Remus, I need to tell you something.” He pointed at the portrait, indicating that he would like to leave the common room for this conversation. Remus sighed inwardly, having intended to take a nap, but followed his friend. Maybe the opportunity to redeem himself would come up.

They left the common room in search of an empty classroom, and after five minutes of walking, they found one. Remus immediately sat down, embarrassed of how much it was costing him to even stay upright.

“What is it, Wormtail?” He asked concernedly.

“It’s… I… It’s Sirius. Remus you have to be careful.” Remus actually laughed at the ridiculousness of that comment, but stopped when he saw his friend’s hurt expression.

“Sorry. Why do you think so.” He said, not fully able to ban a small smile from his face.

“He’s looking at you a lot Remus. Inappropriately so.” “I think,” he added, whispering, as if he was afraid to say it, “I think he might be… gay.” He actually winced at the last word.

Remus looked at him in disbelief. Sure, he had known that Peter wasn’t too thrilled about the touch-based nature of their friendship, but this…

“So what?” He asked defensively, his voice involuntarily raised.

“Remus, I just wanted to warn you. Maybe we can heal him before it’s too late and he tries anything…” Now the werewolf was sincerely flabbergasted.

“Wait? You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! Remus, I care about you…”

Remus interrupted him. “Oh you do?” And then he did the probably most stupid thing in his entire life.

“I’m gay, Peter.” His voice was still raised, and he knew that if anybody was walking outside right now, they’d have heard him. Peter took a step back. He actually backed away from him. Remus’ heart broke a little.

“You… You don’t know what you’re talking about. Sirius must’ve hexed you or…” his voice broke away. He was still pressed against the wall, disgust joining the fear on his face when Remus shook his head. “The amount of times I’ve changed in front of you… The time we went skinny dipping in the lake… and you were gay this whole time?” He still seemed barely able to speak the word.

“But Peter, I never thought of you that way.” Remus got up, ignoring the nauseating feeling in his head, and taking a step toward his friend. Peter backed away further though, and Remus stopped.

“I don’t know who you are anymore.” The smaller boy mumbled and fled the classroom. The second the door closed behind him, tears started running down Remus’ cheeks and he slid to the floor. Never had he thought that any of his friends would react this way. He had thought that, if there had to be a prejudice against werewolves, that at least his being gay would be accepted.

And that was what he had heard too. But of course, the pure blooded families would have a problem with it. After all, how could he produce an heir, if he was with a man. Though he didn’t know how his parents would take his coming out, he had never feared them reacting badly. Now though… he wasn’t sure about anything anymore. If one of his best friends abandoned him just because of this, because of who he loved, who could he count on anymore?

* * *

 

“Remus?” It was Sirius. He must’ve been looking for him and heard the sobs.

“I’m fine.” The werewolf sniffled, his lie obvious.

“No, you’re not.” His friend said, sitting down next to him, putting his arms around the still sobbing boy.

“What happened?” He asked quietly, not adding any pressure of needing an answer. It made Remus a thousand times more inclined to actually give one.

“It’s Peter…” He sobbed, his voice breaking. “He…” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t stand another one of his friends walking away from him.

“It’s okay, Remus. I won’t go anywhere.” Sirius said, still hugging his friend’s shaking form. Obviously he was able to read minds.

“He got angry because… because I’m gay.” For a second the black-haired boy’s face seemed to lit up, though Remus’ eyesight must’ve been impaired by the tears.

“I’m so sorry.” he said, not able to think of anything that would make it hurt less. He pulled Remus closer, holding him a bit tighter.

They sat there like this for a long time until Remus calmed down and eventually stopped crying. Sirius got up, holding a hand out to his friend, who gratefully took it and let himself be pulled up.

“We should go to bed. We’re gonna need a lot of energy tomorrow night.” He said with a smile, trying to lighten up the situation. Remus smiled back, though weakly. They went back to the already deserted common room. The only person still up was James. Upon seeing the two enter together, at midnight no less, he started grinning, until he saw Remus’ face.

“Moony, what’s wrong?” He was at the boys side in a second, hugging him tightly in the next. Tears threatened flooding the werewolf’s eyes again, but he held them back. He couldn’t answer though. He just nodded in Sirius general direction, and then trudged up to bed, leaving the other two to discuss what had happened.

Not even half an hour later, he felt his bed being magically enlarged and two people slipping in. He smiled. He could always count on these two at least.

* * *

 

The next morning Peter was nowhere to be found. He didn’t even come to breakfast, which was very unusual. Sirius could see the guilt etched into Remus’ face and his heart hurt for him. He was still happy that he now actually knew that his crush was gay. But he wouldn’t try to act on it just now that there was so much drama. He tried to cheer him up by talking about their nightly excursion, but it just seemed to make the werewolf more melancholy.

So he shut up and again put as much food on Remus’ plate as possible, knowing that he’d need it especially today. Already he was pale and slumped in his seat, possibly asleep. Sirius and James shared a worried look over their porridge. Today would be an even harder full moon than usual. After they’d made sure Remus had at least eaten half of what had been on his plate they dragged him off to classes, where he spent most of the time dozing, which was probably better anyway since Peter was looking at the three of them with such hatred and loathing that even James and Sirius, who were rarely intimidated - McGonagall being the only exception - felt uncomfortable.

At lunch, Peter sat as far from them as possible, going so far as to sit with the few Gryffindor death eater supporters at the end of the table. He wasn’t looking over at them anymore, but his absence hurt more than anything else. James had never thought that Peter of all people would leave their little circle for anything.

When they excited the Great Hall to go to Charms they passed their former friend. James could just make out a scared look on the smaller boys face before one of his new friends whispered something in his ear and he came forward. Then he did something which nobody in this entire school would’ve ever thought him capable of doing. He spat at Remus, who was standing, half asleep, leaned against Sirius.

“What the fuck Wormtail?” James asked, so calmly that it was ten times more scary than if he’d screamed. The rat-faced boy seemed to shrink before him.

“James… don’t you realise. Surrounding yourself with those… people… your parents would disapprove James! You have to see that they are… wrong!” He said all of this very quietly and didn’t sound very convinced.

“You have until tonight. Either you join us or the marauders will from then on only be three.” With that the Potter-heir walked off, knowing that Sirius was following him, Remus in tow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter this time, but hopefully still satisfactory.

That night the three remaining Marauders were standing in the great hall after dinner, waiting for Peter to turn up. He hadn’t been at dinner and Remus hoped it was because he was preparing for tonight. They waited for nearly two hours, Sirius and James whispering agitatedly. Remus could feel his energy slowly returning during this time. When he felt his level of adrenaline surpassing the normal human standard, he urged the others to follow him outside.

Around this time he started getting dangerous for other humans. Madame Pomfrey had stopped accompanying him to the Whomping Willow this year, trusting him to do it alone. He felt bad betraying her like this, but his friends were also the only thing that made his transformations bearable. Just as they were walking through the big oak doors, Sirius and James already under the cloak, Peter came running up behind them, visibly out of breath.

“I’m sorry Remus.” he wheezed. “I was an asshole. It was just… a shock.” Remus nodded, not able not to forgive his friend.

“It’s okay Pete. So, you ready to join us?” The mouse-faced boy grinned and nodded. Remus could feel his other friends’ apprehension. They were not quite as ready to forgive and forget. Nonetheless, they followed Peter and Remus out on the grounds and to the edge of the forest. As to not make Filch, who controlled Remus’s comings and goings every month, suspicious, Peter had already transformed into a rat.

This was probably a good idea since it made it practically impossible for James and Sirius to have a stern talk with him. The two of them transformed as well, still looking rather irritated. Together the four of them wandered deeper into the woods leaving the cloak behind at Hagrid’s hut. Sirius, even more of an energy-bundle when in dog form, ran ahead, checking for the other wild beasts.

Sometimes they would encounter the occasional giant spider or a centaur, but tonight they were left alone, as if the forest could feel the agitation between them. They wandered on and on, losing track of time. Remus could feel could feel energy coursing through his bod. He stopped when the first surge of pain hit his spine. His friends, knowing that this was when he was most dangerous, stayed behind, while he stumbled on, blinded by the pain.

Peter squeaked and ran away, hiding behind the nearest log. He had always hated their monthly excursions, but now that he did it not out of loyalty or friendship, but because he had been sent to spy, he truly loathed it. He already felt guilty that he had accepted the “quest” of spying on his friends, the other side, as Thomas had called it.

Thomas, who was one of the best duellers currently at Hogwarts and who had, despite only being 16 years old, already spoken to the Dark Lord himself. Thomas, who had found him in shock two nights earlier, wandering the castle and had explained that his friend’s sickness was incurable. Thomas, who had taken him in and promised him glory.

He was so grateful that he had agreed without hesitation to take the position of the spy. Especially after Thomas had told him that it was the most dangerous but also most respected position. He would bring glory to the Death Eaters. He would be the most respected in their ranks. He was so lost in thought that Sirius had to bark at him twice to bring him back to reality. Remus and James had already moved on deeper into the forest.

When Peter still didn’t react, not wanting to follow his former friends, Sirius just grabbed him in his maw, harder than he’d used to do it. Peter knew that even though Remus seemed to have forgiven him, the other two wouldn’t cave in as easily. They were smart and not as trusting, not as desperate to keep the peace in their little group as the werewolf was. Peter started wriggling around wildly to show Sirius that he wanted to be let down.

The dog opened his maw, letting Peter tumble to the floor. If he hadn’t known that it was impossible, the boy could’ve sworn that he heard the dog laugh at him. Shaking, so that the other’s spit wouldn’t stick to him, he hurried off, soon losing the dog. They often split up to cover more ground and Peter figured that he would just find them again later. Right now, he needed to eat something, since he’d missed dinner.

* * *

 

Remus’s transformation back into a human was just as hard to watch as the other way round. Bones cracked, limbs shortened and the boy howled in agony. He could barely hold himself upright for a second, but before he hit the floor, Sirius caught his friend’s limp form. He picked him up way too easily, refusing to carry him up to the tower with a levitation spell. He could feel Peter staring at him, but he didn’t care. He knew James was going to stay behind to talk to the rat.

The fact that Sirius couldn’t even bother to chuckle at his own joke showed how exhausted and betrayed he felt. He hadn’t bought Peter’s half assed apology, but for Remus’ sake he was going to pretend that everything was alright. He knew how much the werewolf, who had subconsciously curled up against Sirius’ chest and was snoring in rhythm with Sirius steps, valued peace within the Marauders. He hated when any of them were fighting.

“Sirius…” Remus mumbled in his sleep and even though nobody was around to witness it, the black-haired boy blushed.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” He whispered, breathing hard. He was climbing the last set of stairs to the common room. It was nearly time for breakfast but they had to at least shower. He hoped he could get Remus awake for that.

As Sirius had expected, the Potter heir had stayed behind, not giving Peter a chance to escape.

“I don’t believe you.” He stated blankly, not caring how his friend winced at his words.

“James please… I know…” He shivered as if the words hurt to say. “That I reacted wrongly. It’s my upbringing, my parents…” But James interrupted him.

“There is no excuse for what you did. I was brought up by purebloods too. Two of the noblest. But do I give a shit who Remus loves? No. Because it’s none of my fucking business Wormtail! He didn’t deserve what you did to him and I don’t think I can ever forgive you for it.” With those words he turned around, heading for the Quidditch pitch.

He needed to calm down, to fly. Then, he could maybe take a hot shower and head for breakfast. He pulled the cloak over himself as he walked, thinking that he was probably still visible from the steam rising from his ears.


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius slept through most of his classes, Remus snoring along beside him. James on the other side seemed to be wide awake, watching the teachers with a wrath in his eyes that Sirius had never seen on his friend before. Peter, as so often after Full Moon, hadn’t appeared in any of his classes. He was probably sleeping soundly in their dorm, while Sirius was awoken every two minutes by someone answering a question or by a teacher talking. At least Remus managed to sleep through the whole lesson. Sirius knew that he hated doing it, but he hated not being present even more. The day passed by in a haze and Sirius barely noticed the stares and murmurs following the Marauders through the halls.

James did though. He tried listening to the students, but for once they were actually talking in muffled voices, not pointing outright at them. As if they were afraid. But they couldn’t have found out, could they? James’ suspicions were strenghthened though, when a second year stifled a scream upon seeing Remus and ran away.. Still unaware to their surroundings Sirius and Remus just carried on walking, talking and laughing sleepily.

A strong protective feeling took hold of James as he watched them, walking leaned against each other and laughing, oblivious to anything but each other. How they couldn’t have realised their attraction to each other already was incomprehensible to him. But he wouldn’t let anything destroy their future together, least of all Wormtail, whom he was sure was behind this rumour surfacing. The boy was a lot of things, but not subtle. So James let his friends carry on without him - not that they noticed him disappearing - and sprinted off to the Gryffindor tower, knowing he would serve detention with McGonagall the next day for skipping. He didn’t care in the least.

He found Peter in the common room, talking to some sixth year, of whom James was pretty sure that he was an aspiring Death Eater. Peter was so engrossed in the conversation that he didn’t even look up when James cleared his throat. So the black haired boy just stepped right before his former friend, putting a  hand on his shoulder. Not reassuringly though, but threateningly.

“Peter. We need to talk.” The boy whitened at the words, probably knowing what was to come, but got up and followed James nonetheless. James didn’t see how the boy - whose name was Thomas - nodded at Peter reassuringly and how Peter straightened and smiled at Thomas.

They went up to their dorms, empty at this hour, when everybody was in class.

“What did you do Peter?” James asked, throwing the door closed. Peter tried to hide his wince at the loud noise, but didn’t fully succeed. A self-satisfied grin stole onto James’ face.

“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about Prongs.”

“Oh shut up. You don’t think I didn’t notice that people somehow found out that Remus is a Werewolf?” He was working with suspicions here and he hoped he was right. But what else could he do? Walk up to a random student and ask why they were suddenly afraid of Moony? No, it was too risky.

“Prongs, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would you think anybody found out about Moony?” James mustered the rat-faced boy, who was usually so bad at lying that you didn’t even need a growing nose to detect it. But James was sure that his friend was deceiving him right now. That he wasn’t telling the truth. But Peter couldn’t lie this well…

“Peter, I’m giving you one last chance!” He said, his voice carrying with it the threat of what would happen, should Peter choose to lie once again.

“Prongs, I’m telling you I don’t know anything.” James sighed, not knowing what to do now.

Peter seemed so sincere, but James had been so sure… Well, maybe he was seeing things. He hadn’t slept after all and maybe his tired and angry mind just made him see what he wanted to see.

“I’m keeping a close eye on you.” He spat, before turning around and leaving the room. Had he stayed he would’ve seen the grin that spread on Peter’s face. He would have witnessed him running to the common room to tell Thomas that it had worked and thanking him for teaching him how to make lies seem convincing. He would have seen how, after Peter started his victory dance, Thomas regarded him with hungry, blackening eyes. But he didn’t see any of it, for James was rushing back to McGonagall’s classroom, hoping he could blame his lateness on an upset stomach.

* * *

 

The student body had only one topic the following few days. Remus Lupin. He wasn’t as popular as James and Sirius were, always having kept to the background. But still, enough people knew him to make the rumour of him being a werewolf known to basically everyone in the castle. When the teachers overheard, a meeting of utmost urgency was called in.

“I knew letting him handle it alone this year was going to be a horrible idea.” Poppy opened the meeting.

“But hasn’t the boy had enough monitoring over the years? I doubt he would let himself be seen while transforming. He is too responsible for that.” Slughorn chimed in. Dumbledore just watched the others fighting, as always looking as though he knew the answer to the riddle.

“But how else could it have gotten out?” Professor Binns wasn’t nearly as uninvolved as most of the students thought. He was quite invested in his students’ life, especially of the ones who actually paid attention in his classes.

“I am very sure that his friends know of his problem.” Minvera was looking at the headmaster, trying to find out whether he was thinking the same thing she was. But the white bearded man was impossible to read.

“They would never betray each other!” Although they would never admit it, nearly all of the staff was very fond of the four troublemakers.

The only one who hadn’t offered words of support in the defense of Remus Lupin, was Proffessor Kettleburn, who had kept a grudge against the four students ever since a unicorn had been hurt during a full moon. Even though it had never been tracked back to Lupin, he was convinced that the werewolf had been at fault. His bias against Gryffindor didn’t help. So the Professor leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his lips, satisfied that the secret was finally out and the boy got the punishment he deserved.

The teachers fought for what seemed like hours, switching sides as they went, defending the Marauders in one sentence, condenming them in the next, without results. The only thing that they all were in agreement of was that the parents couldn’t find out, therefore they would have to talk to the students. An assembly was called out for the next day.

* * *

 

Incidentally that was also the day on which the first Potter-Evans date would take place. James had been devastated when presence at dinner had been announced to be required. But Lily had come up to him, smiling shyly, which was so unlike her that James had immediately started to blush, and told him that she would be okay with having dinner in the village another time and that they could take a walk around the lake after dinner instead. James, who couldn’t get out a word, which was so unlike HIM that it made Lily giggle, just nodded eagerly. Grinning and blushing wildly, Lily walked away.

Remus, whose energy was fully restored again and who had witnessed this exchange, was smiling broadly. Both of these people were normally so eloquent and quick with their tongue, never embarrassed or apologetic for what they did. But now they were behaving like eleven year olds. It was embarrassingly cute. But Remus smile soon faded, when a sixth year girl, whom he had tutored a few times, pointed at him from across the room, whispering something to her friends. Remus sighed.

The fact that his existence as werewolf was now Hogwarts’ biggest piece of gossip had finally reached him as well. But he didn’t suspect any of his friends in any way. Instead he was tossing and turning at night, trying to think of a time when somebody could have watched him transform. He had surely been careless a few nights ago, but could anybody actually have seen him? Since it was his only guess, he was sure that it must be true. He sighed, mentally scolding himself once again for letting that happen. Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey and the other teachers had trusted him and he had taken advantage of it to go on adventures with his friends. Everything that was happening right now was his own fault and he deserved to feel bad.

His thoughts were just starting to spiral down and down as they sometimes tended to do, when Sirius appeared before him, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Prongs needs our help.” And without waiting for an answer Sirius took his friends hand, which shot electric sparks through both of them, and pulled him up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories.

Remus entered the room to a complete mess. Clothes were strewn everywhere, some of them even his! He was distracted from the fact that his favourite pullover was lying rumpled on the floor though, when James let out a frustrated howl.

“There is nothing, absolutely nothing in here.” All of their closets where wide open before him, gaping now emptily at the three friends. Only Peter’s closet was untouched.

“Ugh, thank god you’re here Moony! Padfoot has no sense of proper style.” At that Sirius scowled which Remus could only answer with a laugh. The black haired boy’s scowl deepend and he sat down on a bed, his arms crossed, but a gentle smile not able to stay away from his lips.

“I want her to like me Moony! And I need to show her that I can be proper. Please, please, please will you help me?”

Remus nodded. “Of course you dumbnut.” He turned around and picked up his previously discarded favourite sweater. “Here. It definitely says ‘I can take care of you in many ways.’” Both James and Sirius grinned at that, although the latter might have only done it to hide his blush.

The sweater was also his favourite, as it made Moony indeed look like as if he knew how to properly take care of someone. Every time the werewolf wore it, Sirius was unable to focus on anything else. The only time one of their pranks had gone wrong, was when Remus had just bought the sweater and had worn it for the first time. It could have been the Great Chocolate Flooding of the great hall, but no, Sirius had accidentally vanished all the chocolate instead of the barriers holding it back.

Not that the sweater was that special. Yes, it was a very tight fit, especially now that Remus was properly starting to fill out, but otherwise it looked very old fashioned and grandpa like. It had elbow patches for god’s sakes, normally a total no go for Sirius who preferred his clothes black and leathery. But on Remus… Thinking about his friend made him realise that they still hadn’t spoken about this whole… him being gay thing. Well, if James and Lily had their date tonight anyway and Wormtail was off Merlin knew where he could finally confront Remus. Now, if he didn’t get weak knees only thinking about it, that would surely be great.

* * *

 

None of the marauders, except for Peter, ate much that night at dinner. James was to nervous about leaving stains on the sweater, even though Remus had assured him a thousand times that they could always clean it magically. Sirius was dreading talking to Remus, because there were a million ways it could go wrong. And Remus himself was scared of what Dumbledore would have to say tonight, because he was sure that the assembly was about him. Why hadn’t the headmaster talked to Remus alone though? Why hadn’t he been scolded yet for letting the carefully guarded secret out?

It was a mystery though he hoped that it would be solved tonight. So, the three of them waited impatiently, not talking. Wormtail didn’t seem to notice his friends’ distress. At least that was what all three of them thought, what he wanted them to think. Thomas had taught him that the best spy was the one who could make himself seem dumb and harmless. Not somebody whom the people trusted, but somebody whom the people thought too stupid to realise anything they discussed or did in front of them. And indeed, even James who was still wary of Peter, didn’t bother to hide his fear, something he would keep closely guarded had he known he was sitting opposite the enemy, thinking that Wormtail wouldn’t pick up on it anyway. But he did. And he filed the info away in his brain. Of course he’d known that James was swooning for that Evans girl for years now. But now that something could happen between them, it was important to know what they actually meant to each other.

While the marauders where unknowingly being spied on by their former friend, Professor McGonagall was talking to the headmaster at lightning speed, trying to convince him not to tackle the topic head on. It was much too obvious and why hadn’t he talked to the boy beforehand? Dumbledore didn’t respond, just continued eating his Sheperd’s pie, letting his eyes wander over the students. Even he ignored Peter. The small, mouse faced boy nobody ever noticed. Thomas, on the other hand, caught Dumbledore’s attention. The boy was looking right back and when their eyes met a malicious grin spread on his face.

Dumbledore didn’t show any emotion, though inside he was practically terrified. He had taken to Remus Lupin a lot and he didn’t want to cause him pain in any way. And the backlash that was to be expected from parents should they ever find out… He was gonna lose his job. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the deserts disappeared and the old man got up. He looked at his students, so many more than on a usual night, when many students decided to take their dinner in their rooms or some of the older ones went out to dine, and smiled.

“My dear students. We have asked you to gather here tonight to talk about a rumour that has appeared over the last week. That rumour is not true.” He paused, taking in a breath, preparing to continue speaking.

He didn’t notice how Remus tried to get smaller and smaller at the Gryffindor table, or how Severus Snape was grinning over at his table, clearly not believing a word of what his headmaster was saying.

“Remus Lupin is neither a werewolf nor in any other way dangerous to the rest of the student body.” He knew that he was flat out lying to his students, but what else was there to do? “I do not want you or your parents to think that I would ever allow you to be in such danger.” He also knew that this must hurt Remus feelings, but Dumbledore was fairly sure that the boy would understand.

Remus did indeed understand. That he was a danger, a threat to everyone around him. The urge to run out of the great hall, out of Hogwarts so that all of these people could be safe was so strong, that Sirius, who had noticed his friend’s distress, was the only thing - literally - holding him back.

“It’s okay Remus. You would never hurt anyone. You deserve to be at Hogwarts just as much as anyone else does.” It was as though the Black-heir knew exactly what Remus was thinking.

He kept on talking to him in a soothing voice, and after a while the werewolf relaxed again. Only now did he notice that all others had left the great hall already. Only he and Sirius were sitting there anymore, their surroundings creepily silent.

“Thanks… I…” Remus whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“It’s okay. Remus, I…” Sirius moved a bit closer. “I need to know something.” He closed his eyes and breathed out. Their friendship would survive this! He would be let down gently and then that would be it. He could finally concentrate on other things.

“You’re gay, right?” He pressed out, eyes still closed.

“Yes, but Sirius....”

“No wait. I need to say this. Remus, I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time but if you…”

He was interrupted by Remus kissing him.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus’ brain had stopped working the moment his name had passed Sirius lips. His heart was still pounding rapidly in his chest and he mirrored the urgency in their kiss. It was neither a slow nor a gentle kiss. It was passionate and rough and full of need. Sirius had kissed back from the first moment their lips met and Remus had felt his grin against his lips. 

He pulled away, just for a second to murmur: “I like you, too.” Before going back to kissing Sirius. He gently nipped the other’s lower lip and the black-haired boy emitted a groan. 

“Remus…” The werewolf smiled and was just moving to sit on Sirius’ lap, when someone cleared their throat not far away form the two entangled boys. Remus was off Sirius in a flash. They had both completely forgotten where they were. A slightly grinning McGonagall was standing before them, trying to look angry but not quite managing. Sirius grinned right back at her, while Remus looked to the floor, his head burning red. 

“Black, Lupin! Return to your dormitory immediately! This is a public space!” She turned away, but the lack of a detention as well as her posture told them that she was in no way angry. Sirius grinned at Remus, and even though he was still red as a tomato, he grinned back.

* * *

 

James was walking a respectable metre away from Lily, looking at her from time to time and grinning whenever she looked back at him. They walked in silence, and James was itching to say something, but he also didn’t want to ruin the moment. 

“So…” he said finally after a while, “I promised you a spectacular date. I had one planned too, but since our dinner plans were cancelled… Did you eat a lot?” Lily shook her head, still smiling, wondering what was going on in James’ head. 

“Then… follow me.” With a flick of his wand James had summoned a broom and climbed upon it. 

“James, you know I don’t like flying.” Lily squirmed uncomfortably next to the broom. 

“Trust me, it’s worth it! I’ll protect you.” He added, grinning slyly. The red-haired girl got on the broom in front of her date, letting him grip her tight with one arm. With the other he gripped the broom and kicked of the ground. They were soaring over Hogwarts’ castle grounds in no time, and Lily found that she was actually enjoying the view and the wind in her hair, even though James complained several times that it ended up in his mouth. They flew over the lake, before nearing the forest. 

“James?” Lily asked, a bit of fear audible in her voice. 

“It’s okay, we won’t be breaking any rules nor will we enter the forest.” James assured her, gripping her waist a bit tighter. Lily unconsciously leaned back into the touch, and James shivered, even though it was pretty warm. Lower and lower they flew and soon the birds and squirrels in the trees were visible. They finally landed on the edge of the forest, but not on the grass. No, on the tree tops. Something to stand on was laid out, but covered by a picnic blanket. 

“We just have to hurry a bit with eating.” James said, handing Lily a plate of her favourites. She was so stunned that she took it, but just stared at it and her surroundings and finally at James, who was sitting amidst a pile of pillows, grinning up at her. He put away his plate of food and got up, taking her hand. He flicked his wand and somewhere quiet music started playing. Without a word they started dancing, James leading Lily in a slow waltz. 

“I didn’t know you could dance.” Lily whispered. 

“I can do many more things.” The boy grinned and suddenly swept up his dance partner and twirled her around in the air, before setting her down again. A happy laugh escaped Lily and James heart got wider at that sound. How often had he dreamed of being the one she laughed for. The one who made her happy. He smiled gently, sitting down again, pulling her with him on his lap. 

“Look.” He said, pointing at the stars. Indeed, it had gotten dark while they had been dancing, and now the stars were out. But they weren’t ordinary stars, oh no. They were glittering in all colours of the rainbow.

* * *

 

Neither Remus nor Sirius noticed the colours of the stars though that evening, for they were lying in an empty classroom somewhere on the fourth flour entangled with each other. They had summoned enough pillows and blankets to inhabit entire planets. 

“Sirius?” Lupin whispered, his gaze locked with the black-haired boy’s, gently brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

"Hm?” 

“Why me?” Remus was startled when Sirius suddenly sat up at that question, staring at his hopefully-soon-to-be-boyfriend incredulously. 

“Why not you, Remus. Ok, that didn’t sound the way I meant it. I mean how could there anybody else but you Remus?” Remus blushed and smiled but he still hadn’t gotten an answer to his question. He let it slide though, pulled Sirius down towards him again and kissed him gently on the nose. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered, holding his breath. He’d said it too early hadn’t he? He had fucked it up. Oh, why couldn’t he have just shut his mouth. Sirius laughed softly. 

“I know that I’m in love with you Moony.” He said and the werewolf breathed out, relieved. He kissed Sirius. 

“So, are you my boyfriend now?” Now the Black-heir laughed for real. 

“What a question Remus. Of course… except…” The boy quieted, looking away. “If you don’t want to.” 

“Of course, stupid!” Remus exclaimed, kissing his BOYFRIEND again. Passionately, nearly aggressively this time. When Sirius bit his lip the werewolf let out a moan, that allowed his boyfriend’s tongue to slip into his mouth. They both moaned at the contact, kissing on feverently. Eventually Sirius pulled Remus on top of him, enjoying the weight, the feeling that the other boy was actually there. 

“Sirius... “ Remus said, pulling away, when the other boy made to put his hands under the werewolf’s shirt, “I don’t think… I don’t think I’m ready yet.” He looked away. Immediately the other boy removed his hands. 

“I’m sorry, Moony.” He said, sitting back a bit. 

“No, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. You don’t need to be ready yet. Or ever, if that’s what you want.” 

“No, no. I just think… that I need a bit more time.” Remus breathed and cuddled himself a bit closer to his boyfriend again. 

“Let’s just cuddle.” The black-haired boy said. In that moment both couples were the same. Lily and Remus were watching the sky, while their dates were watching them. If you laid them next to each other, only Lily’s hair would’ve told you that they weren’t one and the same.

* * *

 

Remus woke with a start, when the door swung open with a loud bang. He sat up, staring right in Professor McGonagall’s face. 

“Mr. Lupin?” She asked, looking puzzled, until she saw Sirius next to him. Remus had bowed his head and therefore missed the small smile that stole onto the teacher’s face. 

“I suggest that you and Mr. Black return to your dorms to get ready for the day. Since you are in my first lesson, I will allow you an extra ten minutes, but no minute more.” Remus looked up, and saw that now she was smiling earnestly. 

“Wake him up gently, Mr. Lupin. I’m glad you finally saw sense.” With that she exited the classroom. Remus breathed out, still puzzled by McGonagall’s strange reaction. He gently shook Sirius awake, urging him to hurry. They only had half an hour, and that was with the extra ten minutes they’d gotten. But Sirius was not a morning person in the slightest, especially without his coffee. So Remus ordered a house elf to bring them some into their room in a few minutes, then he heaved Sirius up and half carried the sleepy boy up to their dormitories.

James, who was just getting dressed, greeted them with a broad smile. 

“I’ll leave you to it.” He left them with those words, but not before sending a mischievous wink Sirius’ way. Remus rolled his eyes, handing Sirius the cup of black coffee the house elf had just brought. 

“Hurry.” He repeated, disappearing into the showers himself. When he emerged again, his boyfriend was still sitting on his bed, in his clothes from the previous night, nursing his coffee. Remus sighed, grabbed his wand and spelled Sirius clean. The boy didn’t even flinch. The amount of times one of his friends had had to do this, spell Sirius ready for a school day, because the black-haired boy had gotten up too late for school, was ridiculous. Remus then threw Sirius’ uniform at him, leaving the room, so he could change and also, he wanted to get some food before they went to class. Their time was nearly up and so he was glad that someone - probably James - had left a tray with toast and sausages outside their room. Remus rolled a sausage in a piece of toast, and handed it to Sirius, who had just come out of the room. He then grabbed one for himself and off they were.

They didn’t dare hold hands on the way to McGonagall’s classroom, even though most students were in class right now, for fear of being discovered once again. They didn’t know why that would be terrible, exactly, they just knew it would. They arrived in class, exactly ten minutes after the bell had rung. James greeted them with a knowing grin, the rest of the class just stared at the lack of punishment, as they went to their seats and sat down quietly.

* * *

 

James stared at his two best friends, who were sharing a private smile, brushing their fingers against each other in secret. He wondered whether they had had just as nice a night as he had. Probably, he thought, judging by the fact that they had only returned to their quarters this morning. Himself and Lily had parted ways not long after midnight.

James blushed when he thought of their parting, actually blushed! He threw a quick glance towards Lily, to see whether she was thinking of the same thing, but the red-haired girl was fully concentrated on Professor McGonagall. The way her hair was dishevelled from her pushing it back angrily whenever she looked down to take notes made James think of things he surely shouldn’t be thinking about in a classroom.  He lead his thoughts back to last night. Their goodbye kiss - They had kissed, they had actually kissed! James wanted to scream it from the astronomy tower! - had been chaste and short, but he could still remember the way her lips felt against his. Soft and fitting so well with his own. Her lips had tasted of the cherry chapstick he knew she liked to use and he had melted at the taste. 

“Mr. Potter?” The mix of annoyance and anger in McGonagall’s voice indicated that she had been addressing him for quite a while. Knowing it was a mistake, James looked toward Lily first, who was making a point of looking away, her cheeks a light red if he wasn’t mistaken. He grinned when he finally turned toward the teacher. 

“I’m sorry Professor, I was buried in thoughts.” 

“You surely were, Mr. Potter. I suggest you try to pay attention next time. Five points from Gryffindor.” With that she stalked away again, asking another student the question instead.

Lily didn’t know what to think. It was obvious what James had been thinking of, the way he’d been staring at her. And she just bloody didn’t know what to make of the boy. He had been so crude and stupidly arrogant these previous years, acting as though he had already had her in the net. She had refused to fall victim to his undeniably good looks, making a point of acting as though she hated him. At times, she did. But she’d also always thought that there was more to him than he let on. She yearned to solve the puzzle that was James Potter for years, so when he’d asked her out a week prior she had found herself agreeing. What bad would it do, she’d thought. She could always say no to the second date. 

Then they had kissed, too short she felt, and her whole world had been uprooted. It sounded cliche and stupid, but she had felt something during that kiss. Some invisible string had been tugging at her, urging her closer to James. She had broken away quickly at that feeling. It was… quite frankly, it was scary. James had said goodnight with a grin on his face and she’d wondered whether he had felt it too. Even now, when she should be paying attention, she was wondering about that. Oh, that wretched boy. He would destroy her entire academic career with a single kiss.

* * *

 

For Sirius the day passed in a flurry of giggles and secret kisses in secret hallways. Peter had tried to hide the sneers forming on his face when he saw their joined hands, and he was thankful for that. Everybody else seemed to be in a good mood as well, grinning widely and even the teachers were less grumpy than usual, lightening their load of work for once. Or maybe that was just how it seemed to Sirius, but he didn’t particularly care if that was the case. 

Whenever Remus kissed him - for a whole fifteen minutes during lunch - it was as though every single thing that had ever troubled Sirius, had vanished. Only his happy thoughts were left. If he tried to describe it, he would probably say that it was the opposite of what the Dementors did. Although he really didn’t want to associate anything about Remus with the Dementors. 

Thankfully that night they got into the dormitory before any of the other boys, so they closed the curtains around Remus’ bed, before climbing into Sirius’ together. They’d done that before, openly so, sure. But now that there was something between them, something private, they didn’t want the others, not even James to know. They fell asleep, the feeling of their last kiss still tingling on their lips, back to chest.


	7. Chapter 7

James immediately knew that his two friends weren’t respectively lying in their own beds, as soon as he entered the room. He decided not to say anything, instead thinking about the way Lily had blushed deliciously during lunch today, when he’d winked at her. She was on his mind constantly now, even more so than she had already been before their date. It was a quite welcome distraction, what with seventh year being so stressful.  Even Remus was strained from the workload, even though he would never admit it. 

James entered the shower with a sigh, trying not to think of the load of homework he still had to complete, instead steering his thoughts back to Lily. He saw her blushing again, imagining it was from something entirely else though. Before his mental eye the redhead was writhing in pleasure, begging him to go harder and faster and oh, god James! 

James let out a moan, only realising then that he had wrapped his hand around his cock and was pumping hard. He shuddered when he flicked his thumb over the top, leaning back against the cold shower tiles. With a quick flick of his wrist he made sure that the door was closed, in case any of the others decided to take a shower right now. He didn’t even notice the wandless magic, being preoccupied with thoughts of Lily, on her knees before him, looking up at him with those innocent doe eyes of hers, the green bright in the harsh bathroom light, his cock in her deliciously velvety mouth. 

The picture alone was nearly enough to make James come, but he paused for a moment, wanting to drag this on for a while longer. With every stroke of his hand he imagined Lily’s head bobbing up and down his throbbing dick. A loud moan escaped him when he came, not able to hold back a single second longer. He stayed like that, leaning against the wall, breathing hard, for a while longer, calming himself down, before washing up and leaving the shower. He had wanked often to the image of Lily before, but never had it been quite this… intense. Maybe it was because now that they had gone out, it was actually a possibility for the future? James was too tired to think about it though, falling into his bed, just having managed to pull up his boxers, before falling asleep.

* * *

 

Remus smiled when he got up in the middle of the night to get himself a glass of water and found James lying facedown on his bed. He pulled up the blanket that was currently bunched up at the boys ankles, before continuing on to the bathroom to get himself that drink of water. He also filled a glass for James, leaving it on his nightstand when he was returning to his bed, knowing that his friend was prone to a dry throat in the morning. 

He got back in bed, pulling up his own blanket against the chill of the dorm before turning to cuddle against Sirius again. He nearly let out a scream, when instead of the other’s back, he was met with Sirius’ grinning face. 

“You’re so easy to startle, Moony.” He whispered, his voice roughed up from sleep. 

Remus could’ve groaned at the sound alone, but held back, whispering instead: “It’s just that your face is very scary.” Sirius laughed quietly and flicked him on the head gently. 

“Yeah, right.” He inched closer, “Admit it. You love my face.” Remus kissed his boyfriend. 

“Yes, I do.” He whispered against his lips, before kissing the other’s head, his eyelids and his nose. Sirius' breathing slowed again, a grin on his face, as he drifted off to sleep slowly. Remus continued watching him for longer than he probably should have, for he was deadly tired the next day.

James winked at Remus when he was yawning for about the hundredth time at the breakfast table. 

“Up too late?” He asked with a mischievous grin, which earned an exasperated groan from Peter. Remus just blushed, but James glared at his friend. 

“Shut it, Wormy.” He said quietly, hoping that Remus, who was whispering something to Sirius, wouldn’t hear it. Peter didn’t answer, but also didn’t cower as he would’ve done just a week ago. James tried to hide his surprise at that, especially because Lily had just come in through the doors. James waved at her and she blushed, but waved back, albeit a bit shyly. Marlene, who was walking next to her, giggled. 

The two girls came straight up to them, Lily greeting them with a barely audible Good morning, while Marlene immediately started up a conversation with Sirius. She couldn’t see how tightly the boy was grasping Remus’ hand under the table and of course she couldn’t know how desperately Sirius wanted to tell her that he was off the market, that she was pretty and smart and strong, but that she wasn’t what he wanted, because… well, because she wasn’t Remus. 

Just as Marlene was saying: “So why don’t we go to Hogsmeade together? We could make it a double date with Lily and Potter.” Remus whispered: “Tell her.” Not able to endure his boyfriend’s suffering any longer. Also, he was slowly starting to get jealous which he would never admit, though. Sirius sighed but nodded, smiling at his boyfriend, before getting up and asking Marlene to follow him outside. 

The hope in her eyes was nearly physically painful and he was more determined than ever to finally tell her the truth. To let her off the hook. He stopped just outside the Great Hall, looking around to make sure nobody overheard them. But most of the student body was at breakfast by now, so the hall was empty. 

“So… Marlene.” He started, fidgeting uncomfortably with his fingers. “I… There’s something you need to know. I’m not… I don’t… I’m not into you.” He let the meaning of his words sink in, before continuing, avoiding to look into the girl’s face. 

“I am… Remus and I are together. I love him, Marlene. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner.” He finally looked up and to his relief the blonde was neither crying nor looking as though she’d throw a rage fit. 

“Thanks for telling me.” She said calmly, even cracking a small smile. “Although you could’ve really told me sooner. Then I would have gone after that cute Ravenclaw ages ago.” She shrugged. “Well, the most important thing is that you’re happy.” She clapped Sirius gently on the back. Stunned, he smiled at her, following her back into the hall. He let himself fall down next to Remus, sneaking a kiss, forgetting where they were entirely.

Remus froze when Sirius’ lips touched his. As much as he wanted to kiss him, he was too aware of where they were. And the hundred’s of eyes currently fixed on them. 

“Sirius?” He whispered, pushing the boy gently off him. “What are you doing?” His boyfriend slowly opened his eyes, and only then seemed to take in their surroundings. He nearly jumped back. 

“Remus, I’m sorry, I forgot…” He looked around, clearly panicking. “I’m… I…” Remus could practically feel the moment Sirius’ eyes latched onto Regulus. He went still, and when Remus followed his gaze to the younger Black, he saw that he was just as unmoving as his brother. After a moment, life returned to the Slytherin and he fled the hall, looking back at his brother one last time at the door, an apologetic look in his eyes. And Remus knew that the next morning a howler would be waiting for them at breakfast.

* * *

 

The couple mostly got happy wishes and smiles throughout the day. Some people laughingly complained about losing a bet and couldn't they have waited another week? But there were also those, mostly purebloods but also some muggleborns, who threw them angry looks and showed them the finger. They didn't dare do any worse though, as James was staring them down with such wrath in his eyes that nobody wanted to come within two feet of him. 

Sirius would have participated, intimidating people being one of his favourite part-time activities, hadn't it been for the exchange between him and his brother this morning. Regulus, who already avoided them on regular days, was now nowhere to be seen. Sirius worried his parents had taken him out of school to get tested against the “gay virus”. James said that that was absolutely ridiculous, but Wormtail agreed that there was such a thing and that his grandfather had nearly made him do it last year, because he still hadn’t had a girlfriend. 

James sighed and lay back on the floor of their dorm, where they were currently spending their free period “studying”. 

“I wish there was a way I could check on him.” 

“I could.” Peter said, trying to hide the malevolent grin that was spreading on his face. The three boys stared at him, questions written over their faces, but instead of explaining, Peter just transformed into a rat and scurried off. Remus and Sirius grin, now actually opening their books, happy that they will soon know exactly where Regulus is. James, on the other hand, stared at the spot where Peter just disappeared, not sure whether they can really trust him.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Peter hurried down toward the dungeons, slipping into the Slytherin common room, when someone exited. He found Sirius’ brother rather quickly, sitting in the biggest, comfiest chair, his friends sitting around him, listening to every word he spoke. Gone was the apologetic boy from breakfast, the one that had been shy around the marauders the few times they came to visit the Black residence, the boy that had cried when Sirius had left his home. In his stead sat a poised, confident man, his posture elegant even while sitting. Peter envied him. 

He had gone through the same torturous lessons as a boy, as the Black brothers had, studying the pureblood family trees, learning names of long dead relatives, getting lectures on eloquence and rhetoric. He had always excelled at the first two, had been rather poor at the latter, but his worst subject had been elegance and posture. His tutor had drilled it into him relentlessly, how to impose people by just sitting in a certain way, how to mesmerize a whole room while walking through. In the end, the man had given up, claiming that Peter wasn’t a pureblood after all. His mother hadn’t liked that, and as far as Peter knew, the poor man had never been employed again. He had felt guilty for failing for a long time, and when he looked at Regulus now, who made everything Peter had never mastered look so easy, as though it was completely natural to him, he wanted to punch the sneering boy. 

He refrained though, staying in his rat form and listened. Nothing of interest caught Peter’s ears, mostly just news from The Dark Lord and who had joined his circles, until one boy, he must’ve been around fourteen, asked about Sirius. Regulus went still for a second, before turning to the boy, who immediately started to shrink under the older boy’s look. 

“My brother, dear Timmy,” Regulus sneered, spitting out the nickname, “seems to suffer from sickness. I assure you, our family has nothing to do with him anymore. We threw him out quite some time ago.” 

Regulus hoped nobody saw how much that lie hurt him. Sirius had left of his own accords, but, of course, nobody could know that. Needing to get away,  Regulus caught Daisy’s eye from across the room, smiling shortly, before turning back to the people assembled around him. 

“If you excuse me, I have some business to attend to.” He said, a lascivious grin on his lips. He winked at Daisy, and when the other boys followed his gaze she broke out into a fit of giggles. He got up, trudging over to her, whispering in her ear. 

“Can we talk?” She giggled again, as though he had just asked something very naughty, blushed and nodded shyly. He grinned at her, turned around and walked out of the common room, Daisy following close behind him. 

His whole posture slumped the moment he was out the door. He knew it was stupid, there could be people around, but he couldn’t stand the whole fake a single second longer. Daisy gently put a hand on his back. 

“Come one, Reg. Let’s go.” 

They walked in companionable silence to the seventh floor, Regulus’ tension lessening every second he was near his best friend. Of course, none of his other “friends” could know that he even knew Daisy’s name. She was one of the few muggleborn Slytherin students in their year. The two of them had met on the train to Hogwarts before their first year and immediately known that they would stay friends forever. Then during one of their nightly travels that first year, in search for a place where nobody from their house would discover them, they had found the room they were headed to now. 

The Room of Requirement, as they called it (Daisy claimed she had overheard one of the house elves calling it that), greeted them as it always did. Their hideout was full of comfy blankets and pillows strewn all over the floor, a few of their favourite books stacked here and there. Daisy threw herself on her favourite blue pillow. 

“So, Sirius?” She asked, reading Regulus’ mind, as always. 

“He’s so stupid!  Why did he do that, Daisy? He could’ve just kept it a secret and everything would have been fine! But now, if Mom and Dad find out from anyone else but me, we’ll both be a head shorter! I don’t want to hurt him! For god’s sake, I’m happy for the idiot!” He paced the room, gesticulating heavily. 

“I know Reg, I know. But they can’t hurt Sirius anymore, remember?” 

He remembered all too well, the way he couldn’t hold back the tears, remembered the beating he had taken afterward for crying and how it hadn’t hurt half as much as the knowledge that Sirius had left him. He turned away from Daisy for a second, not able to show his tears, not even to her. 

“Reg…” She got up and put a hand on his shoulder. “They can’t hurt him.” 

“But they can!” He screamed, making the girl jump with the sudden noise. “They can.” His voice broke at the last word, sobs shaking him, tears running and there was nothing he could do against it. Daisy didn’t say anything, just hugged him tight to her, letting his tears stain her shirt. 

“They have ties to The Dark Lord.” He whispered, once he had calmed down. “They’re not Death Eaters,” Daisy winced at the word, “But they are helping with the financing.” It was ridiculous, thinking of the Dark Lord in need of financing, but then again, money could often be more useful than even magic, Regulus had learned that. 

“Well then,” Daisy said, her eyes blitzing, with what Regulus knew was a full, thought-through plan, “you have to become one of them. Convince them, that going after Sirius now is not worth it. That they should wait until he’s older, until he’s in the order and has valuable information.” Regulus gaped at his best friend open-mouthed.

“What?” 

“You have to become a… Death Eater.” Again she winced, but continued on as though nothing was wrong. “Stall the attack on Sirius, that I am sure your parents are going to issue as soon as you tell them. Get close to Voldemort.” Of course, that name she spoke without even the slightest shiver to her voice. “Destroy him from the inside.” 

Regulus had toyed with that notion more and more often lately. His family, the pureblood society, they had lost his loyalty a long time ago, when some of them had attacked Daisy, hurt her, just because of her heritage. And instead of rushing to her aid, Regulus had had to stand by, laugh at her with the others. He knew he was a coward, had known it back then, and knew it now. 

“I don’t think I…” 

“Shut up.” Daisy interrupted. “You can. And you will. Reg, you have to. If not for me, then for your brother. I know what he means to you.” Slowly, Regulus nodded. She was right. He would have to stop standing by. He would have to take action for once. He would destroy Voldemort. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in true writer's fashion, I missed the first day of my new upload schedule. Whoops :) So, anyway, a new chapter will be up every Saturday from now onwards. I hope you enjoy this new chapter, it finally get's a bit steamy between Remus and Sirius. As you probably already noticed, I am not really a slow-burn kinda girl ;)

Peter had returned half an hour ago, with the report that Regulus was still in the castle. The boy knew that he should have told them that Regulus was indeed at the special clinic, the only one still conducting gay conversion therapy. Thomas wouldn’t be happy with him. But as disgusted as he was by Sirius, they still had been friends for years, and it hurt to see him hurting. So he delivered the truth, and decided that there would be enough possibilities to harm Sirius on later occassions.

“So, Prongs…” Sirius drawled, leaning back in his chair and propping up his feet on a nearby stool. “When’s your next date with Evans?” He was still tense from this morning, but at least Regulus was safe for now, and his parents couldn’t throw him out anymore or take away his heritage. James grinned.

“I should probably go and find that out, shouldn’t I?” With that he got up, in search of the redhead, leaving his friends behind. He had been thinking about their next date constantly, ever since the first one ended, and he knew that Lily loved movies. In fifth year, she had been the one - Headgirl indeed - to make them all sneak into the nearby muggle village to go to the cinema.

And while they did have multiple corridor patrols together every week, that wasn’t really a date, was it? So he would take her to the movies, make it an old-fashioned muggle date. He had found a lovely Italian place in the village, the last time they’d visited, where he planned to take her beforehand.

He found Lily in the library, studying intensely. She was biting her lip in concentration, tapping the table with her pencil. She had introduced that genius invention to the Gryfffindors last year. Muggles really were something else. Filling a wooden contraption with graphit and then using it to write… Ingenius.

James watched her for a while and broke into a grin when the moment came that she found the answer to something. Her whole face lit up with the joy of solving something. A few years ago, she would’ve done a celebratory dance, or at least pounded her fists in the air. But after Marlene had once made a comment that it was quite childish, she had stopped. Oh, James had been seething with the blonde for weeks!

He approached Lily, tapping her on the shoulder lightly. She still jumped and James had to hold back a laugh.

“Hey.” He said, smiling at her.

“Hi.” She smiled back at him.

“So, I was thinking… maybe you’d want to go out again this weekend? To a real dinner, this time.” Lily’s smile widens, and her perfect, white teeth are showing. God, James must really be in love with her, if he is starting to notice her teeth.

“I’d really like that.”

James ruffled his hair awkwardly. “Well, great! Then… I guess I’ll leave you to study again.” He turns around to go, but stops dead in his tracks, when Lily says “Stop.” silently.

“Yeah?” He asks, turning around again. Not even a second later, her lips are on his. He stiffens, at first, in surprise, before melting against her lips, savouring the cherry taste of her lips. The kiss doesn’t last for long, but James is still pretty much breathless when she pulls away.

“I’m looking forward to the dinner.”

“Oh, and a movie. I forgot to mention that. I’d like to see a movie with you too. Your choosing obviously.” James hadn’t thought it was possibly, but her smile widened even more.

“I’d really love that. But now…” She made a shooeing gesture with her hands. “I really have to study. I’ll see you on Saturday.” James smiles at her one last time, before really turning around and walking back to his common room.

* * *

 

Severus Snape was balling his hands into fists so hard, that his nails left small, crescent, bloody marks in his palms. Did Lily, his Lily, really just kiss that twat? He couldn’t believe it! She had always hated him, had complained about him every opportunity she got. And the last time they’d spoken had only been, what, roughly a year and a half ago? Not that much could change in that little time, could it?

Sadness suddenly overcame Severus. Had it really been that long since their last, fatal conversation? Whatever. He shook his head, his long, greasy black hair swooshing around his face. She would come back to him. She had always come back to him. This time it was only taking a bit longer. Understandable, he had insulted her pretty heavily after all, even though, technically it had been the truth. Again, Severus shook his head. No, Lily would never go out with Potter. Not matter what they had just discussed. She was doing it to lead him on, probably. To prank him or whatever. He released a reliefed sigh, leaning back against the bookshelf behind which he was hiding. She would come back, he was certain of it. She had to. Otherwise, how would he survive?

* * *

 

Remus giggled when Sirius’ mouth brushed the ticklish spot on his neck. They had retired to their dorm not long after James had left, starting by just talking about everything and anything, in the privacy of “their” bedroom, making a pact of always telling the truth to each other.

Then, soon, it had turned into kissing and now they were lying, tangled in each other, lazily kissing each other, ignoring that soon they’d have to get up for dinner.

“Did you just giggle?” Sirius asked, propping up on one elbow and looking at Remus. Distractedly he pushed a strand of hair out of the other’s face.

“I guess.” Remus answered, blushing embarrassedly.

“It’s cute.” Sirius said matter-of-factly, as though he was stating one of the Fundamental Laws of Magic. “Your giggle, I mean.” He adds, brushing his mouth against Remus’.

“You’re cute, too.” The werewolf whispered, deepening the kiss, getting lost in the taste of his boyfriend all over again.

“Sirius?” He asked after a while, panting hard.

“Hm?”

“I think I’m ready. I know I said…” He was cut off by his boyfriend kissing him enthusiastically.

“You sure?” Sirius asked.

“Yes. But I do want to talk about it first, and I also want to research some stuff in the library. You remember the course Madame Pomfrey had us take in fourth year? Well, we learnt a lot about straight sex, but I have no idea how this,” he gestured between himself and Sirius, “is supposed to work. Maybe I’ll go and ask her, too. I just… I really wanna do this right, and without any of us hurting each other. Also,” he cast a quick Tempus charm, “Dinner is in twenty minutes.”

A mischievous grin stole onto Sirius’ face. “I know something we could do in twenty minutes.” He orchestrated Remus to sit on the edge of his bed, cast a quick locking spell on the door and then kissed Remus, licking the inside of his mouth tenderly.

“Ready?” He asked, and waited for his boyfriend’s nod, before sinking down onto his knees. Remus’ eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin the moment. Sirius looked up at him, grinning and the sight alone nearly made Remus groan.

Sirius slowly opened his pants, pulling them down and then removing them completely. He kissed the inside of Remus’ thighs, leaving a few red spots here and there. Remus could feel himself harden, his dick straining against the fabric of his boxers. He willed his eyes, which had closed a moment before, open, as to not miss a single second of this, and looked at Sirius.

The black-haired boy was regarding the tent in Remus’ boxers with curiosity and want, taking a deep breath, before putting his hand on it through the trousers. Above him, Remus groaned, moving into the touch involuntarily. Sirius grinned, moving his hand up and down two, three times, before pulling down the pants.

He removed the shorts altogether before looking again. Remus’ cock was slender, much like the boy himself, already reddening at the top. There was a slight curve to it and it was long. Oh gods, it was long. Sirius gulped, looking up at Remus, who was regarding him, his eyes nearly fully black with want.

Spurred on by Remus’ hard breathing, Sirius licked along the shaft once, eliciting a moan from Remus. He once again took a deep breath, before taking it into his mouth. Remus bucked his hips in response, thrusting deep into the other’s mouth and Sirius nearly gagged.

Gently, he pushed Remus back again. The other boy was apologising profusely, but Sirius ignored him, flicking his tongue against the top once, which resulted in a moaned “Sirius” from Remus.

Preparing himself for the lenghth of it this time, Sirius closed his eyes and slowly moved his head forward, taking in more and more, until his nose was nestled in the small, brown hairs of Remus’ pelvis and his cock was at the back of Sirius’ throat.

He could clearly hear his boyfriend panting hard, could feel the tension with which Remus was trying to hold back from moving, and grinned. He had the power to make him feel this way. Spurred on by this, he moved his head up and down the shaft a few times, varying in speed. He worked his hand up and down where he couldn’t manage to get his mouth anymore at this speed.

“Sirius, I’m…” Remus panted, not able to finish his sentence. He buried his hands in Sirius’ soft hair, tugging it gently away from him. But Sirius stayed in place stubbornly, moving his head faster.

Remus came in the exact moment that Sirius decided to look up at him. He saw his boyfriend’s eyes flutter shut, felt his body tense and then relaxing as spurt after spurt of come hit the back of his throat, the taste a mix of salty and bitter and not altogether bad.

Sirius continued to move his head up and down until Remus went slack, falling backward onto his bed. The black-haired boy, who had been stroking himself for the past few minutes with his free hand, pumped into his fist more vigorously and it didn’t take long for him to finish, too. He climbed back onto the bed, falling down next to Remus.

“I’m sorry…” The werewolf mumbled, his eyes still closed, “I should’ve taken care of you too.”

“Shush.” Sirius whispered, pressing a quick kiss against his boyfriend’s lips.

They lay like this for a while, before Sirius got up again, throwing Remus’ pants and boxers at him, declaring that he was hungry and that dinner would start soon. So, Remus got dressed, and together, hand in hand, they walked down to the Great Hall.

* * *

 

“And what did you get up to?” James asked when Remus and Sirius plopped down next to him. Remus blushed, but Sirius just grinned and winked. Peter, who was sitting opposite James nearly choked on his mashed peas.

“I’ve been thinking…” James said, after he had just refilled Remus’ plate for the third time. “Maybe we could do some sort of double date, sometime? You know, me and Lily and you two.” He looked at Peter pointedly, hating himself a bit for the glee he felt as the boy’s face crumpled in disappointement.

He wouldn’t have felt guilty had he known that Peter was indeed only playing the roll of the hurt little boy. He would obviously spy on them, and if they didn’t know he was there, all the better. They would be less guarded.

Remus bit his lip. It sounded like a nice enough idea. He liked Lily, had always been the marauder to get along with her best. The only thing, he was still kind of shy around other people with Sirius. Whether it was the gay thing or the PDA thing, he couldn’t say.

Sirius stared at Remus’ mouth, transfixed by the teeth burying themselves in the soft flesh of Remus’ lip. He wished those were his teeth, he wished he could bruise those lips… Wait… He could! The adrenaline of the realization pumping through him, he leaned over the table and claimed Remus’ mouth.

The werewolf let out a startled gasp, before kissing back, momentarily forgetting where they were. When James cleared his throat though, after Remus had moaned, because Sirius had bitten his lower lip, he pulled away quickly, blushing violently.

The other Gryffindors and some of the neighboring Ravenclaws were hooting and whistling. Remus wanted to hide. But Sirius just waved at them as though he was the queen and then got up and bowed. Remus rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, but couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.

Regulus watched the scene unfold from three tables away, watched his brother delight in all the attention, but he could also see the genuine happiness written on his brother’s face and his decision deepend at that. He would defeat Voldemort.

He had already applied for an audience. They actually fucking called it that. An audience. As though the fucktard was a fucking king. Regulus sighed. He would really have to learn to control his thoughts before that.

Peter had nearly fallen off his seat when Sirius had just reached over and kissed Remus. Here? Where everyone could see? He sculpted his face into an easy smile though, something that came easier and easier to him everyday now. Thomas was happy with his progress and so was Peter. He was proud of himself.

James cheered with his classmates, but he was watching Peter closely. He could see the shock and disgust morph into a happy smile, before the boy’s hand start moving together too. James’ heart warmed a little at that. He was at least trying to be happy for them.

So he smiled at Peter, just the tiniest of smiles. It broadened a bit when Peter smiled back. Maybe he would actually be able to forgive Peter in the future. 


	9. Chapter 9

Remus, to Sirius’ horror, was insistent on asking Madame Pomfrey about sex and the black-haired boy followed his boyfriend to the medical wing in somewhat of a daze.

“Why do I need to come with, anyway?” He asked, shortly before they would arrive.

“Because I want you to hear what she has to say, too. Now stop being such a prude, she’s a medi-witch. She’s used to talking about sex.”

Sirius grimaced, but followed his boyfriend through the door that lead into the Hospital wing. As if she had felt them enter, Madame Pomfrey came over immediately.

“Yes?” She asked, an eyebrow suspiciously popped up, which Sirius thought was fair, since they often did come in here to steal various potions, or to have wounds treated, refusing to tell her how they’d gotten them.

“We wanted to ask you something… private.”

Despite his previous act of nonchalance, Remus was blushing endearingly now, squirming a bit under Madame Pomfrey’s look.

“Follow me into my office then, please.” They did, silently, Sirius still unsure of what he was really doing here, and desperately wishing himself very far away.

“So?” The medi-witch asked, when they had all sat down, the new couple opposite her, both crouched in the small chairs uncomfortably, while the woman held herself straight, her arms clasped on the table before her.

“We wanted to, ahm, we wanted to ask…” Remus trailed of and with a sigh Sirius explained.

“We wanted to ask about,” He paused uncomfortably, not used to using the word in front of an adult, but Madame Pomfrey gestured him to go on, “sex. See the course you held in fourth year didn’t really cover doing it if we’re…” He gestured between himself and Remus, who was looking at him gratefully.

“Of course, I understand. I am very sorry about the course failing to cover these specifics and will see to it, that it is added in the future. However, I doubt that whatever I can tell you now covers everything you might want to know, so I advise checking out some books from the library for further study. I will try to teach you what I know, though, if you want.”

Remus and Sirius nodded, both somewhat hesitantly, and what followed was a very awkward hour of lessons on sex between two men. If you thought, that such lessons is embarrassing in front of a whole class, imagine having a teacher in front of you, explaining things she definitely knows you two’ll do.

Despite the awkwardness of it all, Sirius found himself leaned forward in his chair, listening intently to everything the older witch was telling them. He was already compiling a mental list of things he wanted to try, preferably starting immediately.

But when Madame Pomfrey finally stopped talking and they thanked her for the lesson, Remus insisted on visiting the library.

“Sirius, I really want to be as prepared as possible for this!” He argued, pointedly avoiding looking his boyfriend in the eyes.

“Moony,” Sirius gently took Remus’ chin in his hand and tilted his head up, so he could look him in the eyes, “If you’re scared, we really don’t need to do this!” He said softly, pressing his lips to the werewolf’s for a second.

“No. I want to do this. And I’m not,” Remus swallowed, “scared. I just like to be prepared, ok? So let’s go to the library, find the books Madame Pomfrey was talking about, finish our homework and then read them.”

Sirius groaned at the mention of homework, but nodded, although it was late already and he’d much rather just go to bed and maybe try out a few of the things Madame Pomfrey had told them about. Remus smiled at him softly. He took Sirius hand in his and kissed him quickly on the cheek, before dragging him to the library.

James had been staring at Lily for what seemed like hours. The two of them had agreed to study together, but James couldn’t concentrate with her before him.

“James,” Lily said, without looking up, the smile on her lips clearly audible, “you need to open a book at one point too, you know.” James sighed, but did as she asked, opening his potions book.

In an attempt to avoid studying for a little bit longer, he looked around the library. His eyes fixed on Remus and Sirius, who were walking along a bookshelf nearby, giggling quietly, as they held up books to each other.

James got up and walked over to them, telling Lily he would be back soon.

“What’re you two giggling about?” He asked, standing behind his two friends now, who hadn’t noticed him creeping up to them. They both startled, quickly hiding the books they’d been holding behind their backs.

“Nothing.” They said in unison.

“Oh, really? Then let me see,” James said with a grin, grabbing for the book Remus was still holding hidden behind his back. The boy stumbled backward in an attempt to keep it away from James. The movement drew his eyes to the books in the shelf.

‘10 ways to pleasure your boyfriend’, ‘How to find the prostate and what it does’, ‘Spells for more fun in the bedroom’. James incredulously looked from the books to his friends and back. They had both adopted a deep scarlet colour in their face and were staring at the floor sheepishly.

“Well, I think I’ll return to studying then,” he said, already turning away and hoping that he’d somewhere find a spell to erase this from his memory.

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?” Lily asked as he sat down opposite her again, as always picking up his mood.

“Nothing, I just… I ran into Remus and Sirius…” He trailed off, wanting to spare her the details. Lily just looked at him, one eyebrow cocked up, but decided to let it be.

Studying with James, she had found, wasn’t as much a tedious affair as she had thought it would be. The boy was smart, not that she hadn’t known that before, but only now it dawned on her how bright he actually was.

They had conversation she hadn’t thought possible with him, often got sidetracked from the actual homework by conversations about magical cores and the necessity of wands.

Lily had always been interested in wandlore and James seemed to know an awful lot about it. The only thing that annoyed her was that he often trailed off or stared at her for huge amounts of time. Although, she had to admit that the latter rather made her flustered than annoyed.

“James?” She asked, after a while.

“Yeah?”

Lily couldn’t believe she was about to say what she was about to say. It was absolutely unlike her and, of course, to underline that, she blushed.

“You wanna get out of here?” Not only her words, but her voice as well was suggestive and she nearly cringed at the unfamiliar sound. Now it was James’ turn to blush, as he nodded eagerly and slammed his books shut.

Lily followed suit and not even five minutes later she was leading them to a classroom she knew was always empty. She had never even encountered a ghost there and she doubted that most of the teachers knew about it.

James walked next to her, his hand brushing her’s from time to time, nearly accidentally, but she knew it wasn’t. After a while, she just took his in her’s and smiled at him. He smiled back shyly.

Lily locked the door behind them with a simple spell, and was just about to turn around, when James pressed her against the door, his mouth milimetres from her’s. She could feel every single spot where their skin was aligned, her body was alive with the feeling of his.

“Can I?” James asked, his voice low, nearly a growl. Lily barely mewled a yes, still overcome by the feeling of another body so close to her’s.

James mouth pressed down on her’s hard, completely different from their other kisses. He moved his lips with passion and she mirrored him, trying to keep up with his experience.

When his tongue slid over her lower lip she didn’t have to think before opening her mouth to him. Now she knew what writers meant when they said someone claimed another’s mouth.  
James’ tongue moved softly, but with a possesiveness that would’ve made her blush, weren’t she already red all over.

“James…” She whispered, pulling away, but barely.

“Yes?” He was still holding her tightly and was regarding her with the same possesiveness she had felt earlier. She swallowed hard. Should she really do this? Before they had even had their second date? She shouldn’t, she knew that, but she desperately wanted to.

The uncertainty in her face made James take a step back. The loss of his warmth made her shiver.

“It’s okay.” James said, his hands holding both of her’s, his fixed somewhere over her face.

“That’s not…” Lily began, unsure of what to say, “I want to and I’m not scared or anything… It’s just… I know I shouldn’t. We haven’t even been on two dates, and it would be the first time for me and that’s not how it’s supposed to…”

James cut her off with a small kiss.

“It would be the first time for me too.” He whispered in her ear, then straightened again, looking her directly in the eyes this time. “And it’s supposed to go exactly the way you want it to. If you want to wait six months, we can do that. Or if you want to do it tonight, that would also be great. Honestly, Lily, whatever you want, is what is right.”

She smiled at him shyly, then pressed a slow, gentle kiss on his lips.

“Tonight. Meet me here at midnight.” With those words she turned around, swung open the door she had unlocked a second earlier and disappeared down the corridor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for having missed my upload day again :(. I am just swamped with school work and family going-ons. I hope James' and Lily's steamy time is worth it ;)

Remus moaned when Sirius lips locked onto his neck, sucking so hard that they would probably leave a red bruise. But the werewolf didn’t care. He enjoyed letting people know that he was Sirius’.

He was just trying to pull the black-haired boy’s t-shirt off him, without somehow having to lose the warmth of his lips on his collarbone, when James stumbled into the room.

“Oh… sorry.” he said as the two boys separated hastily, pulling their shirts straight and combing through their hair with their fingers.

James was breathing hard, and he looked utterly exhausted in general, but his eyes were shining brightly, and it appeared that he wasn’t just flushed from the run up to the tower.

“I think Lily wants to have sex with me!” He blurted out, just as Peter entered the room behind him.

The mouse-faced boy blushed, but didn’t say anything, instead smiling coyly at Remus and Sirius. While Remus smiled back, Sirius ignored his friend, instead looking inquisitively at James.

“And you think so because?” So, the Potter heir told them about the evening he just had and that he would need to be ready in about two and a half hours. The time limit set them all in motion.

While Sirius hurried into the bathroom, grabbing random hair products and various manly perfumes from the shelves, Remus threw all of their wardrobes open with a single spell, closing Peters again after a brief glance. Then he threw himself back on Sirius’ bed and began letting various outfits fly out of the closet and hover in front of James.

While James stood there, “trying on” different outfits, the other marauders judged each one on a scale from 1 to 10, but mostly laughing their asses off as Remus began putting together more and more ridiculous tops and bottoms. James laughed with them, glad to have them to help him shake his anxiety.

In the end, they went for a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a white shirt (the top two buttons undone, of course). After they’d chosen that, James quickly hopped into the shower, turning the water cold, so he wouldn’t waste precious time on dwelling on what was likely to happen later, before hurrying back out into their room to let Sirius work his magic on his hair.

Sirius fluffed the mess on his friend’s head up professionally, making it look like he’d just stepped off the Quidditch field, as that was, according to him, the one thing the female species could not withstand. James rolled his eyes at him, but let it be, too nervous to counter with some smart retort.

By the time they finished, it was time for James to go. He hurried down the corridors, wondering what Lily had planned.

Ten minutes later he was pacing in front of the little door, debating whether to knock or just enter. On the one hand, it would be weird to knock on a classroom door, but on the other hand, if Lily was in there, it would probably be rude if he just barged in there. After a good five minutes of pacing, he decided to just knock. If no one was in there, no one would know, and if Lily already was, she would surely appreciate the gesture.

In the exact moment he raised his hand to rap against the door, it was opened. James mouth fell open. Lily stood before him, her cheeks a delicious red and her hair in soft, long curls on her shoulders, instead of a tight bun atop her head. She was smiling faintly, as if she did it unconsciously and looking James directly in the eye.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” James echoed awkwardly, putting his hand in his hair. Only then did his eyes fall to what Lily was wearing. It was a soft pink negligée, the neckline decorated with very filigree black lace.

As James eyes drifted upward again - he had made himself look away from the endless naked flesh of her legs - he found her staring at him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, embarrassed at having been caught.

“Oh no, this was meant for you. I would have been disappointed had you not stared.” Lily retorted, and James smiled at her.

“So, can I come in?” Lily nodded and opened the door wider. Again, James mouth fell open in awe as he beheld the completely transformed classroom.

Instead of a blackboard, a fireplace was built into the wall, a cosy fire crackling invitingly. Where the teacher’s desk would have been, a queen-sized bed now stood, covered in red satin and an obnoxious number of pillows, which made it clear that it had been decorated by a girl. The rest of the room was blank, but even so, James loved it.

“It’s beautiful,” He whispered, a word he wouldn’t have been caught dead using before he had started this … thing with Lily. She smiled up at him, and he couldn’t resist. He threw shut the door with a move of his hand, locked it with another and then picked her up. She laughed freely and linked her legs behind his back, pushing her hair to one side, before pressing her mouth on his.

James kissed back feverishly, letting his hands roam the soft sides of her nightgown, but not daring to wander anywhere else. Lily, on the other hand had other plans. Not even a minute after they’d started kissing, she had ripped his shirt off him, letting her hands roam completely freely - not that James was complaining.

He moaned, as she parted lips with him to suck on his neck, which seemed to spur her on further, as she scraped her teeth gently against the soft skin. He stumbled with the thrill of the feeling and hit his shins on the edge of the bed. With a soft yelp, he let go of Lily, who fell with her back on the bed, giggling as he stumbled and fell on top of her, catching himself with his arms so he wouldn’t crush her.

He looked at her, still giggling, her eyes closed and her cheeks rosy, her swollen lips and her auburn red hair fanned out around her. He chuckled once, more to himself than anything else, because it was just so ridiculously incredible that he got to have this moment with her, to see her like this.

He silenced her giggles with a new kiss, and he could still feel her smile against his lips. Then, moving quickly, he grabbed her at her waist and turned them around, so that he was now under her. She looked at him, startled, at first, but then just chuckled and continued kissing him.

James let his hand roam over her back now, stopping right before he would be touching her ass. But when she nodded against his mouth, he went ahead, cupping it in his hand and squeezing gently. She grinned against his lips, before scraping her nails down his chest in return.

James breath hitched and as much as he just wanted to continue this, to just go on and on forever, he pulled away.

“Did I do something wrong?” Lily asked immediately, but James just smiled at her.

“Of course not! I just wanted to ask whether you are really sure. Whether you want me to go ahead.” Now Lily smiled at him too, biting her already swollen lip, before nodding.

“Well then…” James whispered, taking the hem of her nightgown in his hands. Lily looked him in the eyes, nodded again and then lifted her arms over her head. James pulled it off slowly, enjoying every sliver of skin he laid free. When it was finally completely off, he discarded it with a single throw, not taking his eyes off Lily.

The redhead was looking down, blushing hard, but James took her chin in his hand, pulled her toward him and kissed her hard. Now he let his hands roam freely, exploring every inch of her wanting to commit everything to memory. Once again, he flipped them around, kissing her softly on the mouth once, before kissing her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, her breasts, her stomach until he stopped at the soft fabric of her panties.

“Can I?” He asked softly, and Lily, who was panting hard above him, nodded harshly, clearly impatient. James chuckled and pressed a kiss on the fabric, before removing the annoying piece of clothing, kissing her bare skin. Lily’s back arched off the mattress and she let out the smallest of moans, a noise that went directly to James’ crotch.

He took a deep breath, reigning himself in, before planting another kiss there. Then another one and another one, and one by one they grew sloppier and sloppier and he went farther and farther down, until Lily was mewling and moaning his name, her hands twisted in the sheet, her thighs trembling.

Eventually James pulled away, under a loud noise of complaint from Lily. He was overwhelmed by the desire to be closer to her, to be inside her, to feel her, so after her assured himself with a glance that she was fine with it, he pulled down his carefully selected trousers, his boxers right along with it and threw them on the floor.

Lily stared at him unabashedly, so intensely that he blushed. Before the moment could get to uncomfortable he leaned down to kiss her, shivering at the feeling of raw skin against raw skin. Lily answered his kisses with the same urgency, the same need for release. Only then did something occur to him.

“Lily…” he started, breathing hard, “Do you… do you take a protective potion.” Lily nodded without a moment’s hesitation, so he leaned down again, kissing her harder than before, sucking on her neck, licking along the soft dip of her collarbone.

“Ready?” He asked, aligning himself at her entrance with the help of his right hand, now lying half on Lily because he was only leaning on his left arm.

“Yes. Please, James…” Lily whispered, and he obliged, thrusting into her in one clean motion. He groaned. The feeling was overwhelming, her walls tight around him. Lily let out a small noise alongside him, clasping her arms behind his neck.

“Move.” She pressed out between tight lips before kissing him passionately. He did, moaning loudly at the feeling, fastening his pace, Lily matching him until they found a rhythm, rocking against each other fast and hard, no boundaries anymore.

“I’m… Lily, I’m…” Lily nodded in understanding and kissed him long and deeply, continuing to rock against him through his orgasm. James kissed her back longingly as he thrust in her hard for the last time, before collapsing on her. He had just enough brainpower to think to roll off her, before he closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing.

Lily leaned over to kiss him, before cuddling against him, her breath calming down quickly. Only then did her satisfaction cross James mind and in a panic, he threw open his eyes again and leaned on one arm to look at her.

“Lily. Did you… I mean, did you… did you come?” He asked, blushing, despite what they’d just done.

“No.” The redhead said matter-of-factly, her eyes still closed, the easy smile not vanishing from her face. James slumped, thinking about what he could do to change that fact, when she interrupted him.

“But I did before, you know. And also, I enjoyed myself. And only 30% of women orgasm during sex, did you know that? Even less, if you only count the first time. So, don’t worry.” She finally opened her eyes and looked him deeply into the eyes. “You made me happy.”

James grinned at her and kissed the corner of her mouth softly before cuddling up against her, knowing they’d have to leave the room soon, but wanting to hold on to the moment just a bit longer.

At first Severus had thought someone was fighting and had readied himself to storm the room, wand at the ready. It had sounded pretty serious after all. But then, as he had stopped and listened a bit harder he had clearly heard Lily’s voice. Moaning. And worst of all, moaning Potter’s name.

Severus had stood frozen in place, trying to make sense of what he was desperately hoping wasn’t happening beyond the closed door to the small, empty classroom he had thought only he knew about. But he should have known that Lily would remember it. And now she was defacing it by doing Merlin knew what with Potter in there.

Severus had just wanted a quiet night, away from his “friends”, whom he had finally escaped a bit after midnight. He had fled here as quickly as possible to get at least a bit further in the book he was just reading (The Shining by Stephen King, which had just come out and which he was making frustratingly slow progress with, since he could only ever read it when he was 100% alone). And then... this.

He had just been standing there until now. The room had become quiet a while ago and Severus had known he should have gone a long time ago. But the longer he had stayed, the more impossible it had seemed. And now he was still there, still frozen, even though soft rustling sounds, interrupted by kisses here and there, were now coming from the room. Severus knew that when he didn’t go now, they would see him when they came out. But he somehow couldn’t bring himself to care. So, he stood, listening, waiting for what was to come.

They had gotten dressed slowly, interrupting the process with long kisses, patient ones, since they no longer had any goal to get to. They kissed for the kisses’ sake and not because they were leading up to anything. And James enjoyed it immensely.

Twenty minutes later, they were finally dressed and already had one hand on the doorknob but were still held up by another kiss.  
“We should really go.” Lily whispered against James’ lips, before deepening the kiss again. James hummed in agreement but didn’t pull away either. He knew the moment couldn’t last, and that made it all the better, but he also needed time to store it away in his memory. Finally, he broke apart from the redhead and nodded, pulling the door open in one swift motion.

He nearly let out a very unmanly squeal when he saw that there was someone standing in front of it. And not only someone but Snivelous. Lily beside him, squealed, which somehow sated his urge to do so. So instead of mirroring her, he spoke to Snape, his voice low, and dangerously calm.

“What. Are. You. Doing. Here?” He clipped every word, staring at the boy, seething anger bubbling up in him. Severus shrugged. He just shrugged! James couldn’t believe it and it was all he could do not to sucker punch the guy.

“I couldn’t help but overhear you.” Severus said with a sneer, after an endless moment of silence. Lily looked at her former best friend, tears threatening to spill over her eyes every moment.

“Sev…” She started, before realising that that was not what she called him anymore. “Severus how could you…” She trailed off before the sobs in her voice became noticeable. Severus just stared back at her, unblinking.

“No Lily.” He said quietly, his voice matching James’ from just a second before, “How could You?” With that he turned around, his hair swishing around with the movement, and disappeared down the corridor.

Lily slumped against James’ chest, not believing that this was how the night had ended. James put his arms around her, pressing her close.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Hello guys!   
I'm sorry that there has not been a new chapter yesterday, but since I am currently in Nice with school I will not be able to post a new one next week either. I am very sorry and hope that you don't hate me too much.

Have a nice day :))


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey I'm back!! I hope this chapter was worth the long wait!

Regulus heart was beating thrice as fast as normally. He was standing in a white, nearly sterile hallway in front of an imposing white door that could've be fit for a king. But behind it was waiting Lord Voldemort.

He didn't know how the Death Eaters had acquired this house, or where it even was. He had been apparated inside by Thomas.

Daisy had been the one who found out that he was the only one currently at their school who held frequent audiences with the Dark Lord. So Regulus had met with him one night, in the security of a dark alcove.

He had been surprised to find Peter, his brother’s friend right there with him, but hadn’t said anything. The boy had stood there, observing silently. Regulus had tried to ignore him, to not show Thomas how much the Marauder’s presence made him feel ill at ease.

Thomas then had made Regulus swear an Unbreakable Vow to never speak of the going on’s of Voldemort’s cause. After that he had told Regulus where to be and when for his audience with the Dark Lord.

Now he was here, wondering what would happen. Would he get the Dark Mark right away? He’d heard that it hurt like hell and that if one made only one sound of pain, one would get killed. And that apparently, the first Death Eater to ever receive the Mark, Bellatrix Lestrange, had laughed with glee during the process.

Regulus startled when the door opened suddenly, and a man with a mask in front of his face beckoned him in. He straightened, put a scowl on his face and entered, walking purposefully toward the throne that was erected in the middle of the room.

There was no white here, only rich reds and blacks on the walls, creating a pattern of snakes. They were clearly spelled, because they wriggled and moved, at the moment all toward Regulus. The Black-heir made himself look fearless and just walked on, toward the person in black sitting on the throne.

His steps on the black marble floor resonated through the room, making the quiet seem even more eery. It seemed to take forever to reach the Throne, before which he knelt, keeping his eyes averted.

“My lord.” He said, not the slightest quiver in his voice. Instead he sounded proud and honoured. The man before him laughed, high and cold.

“My dear Regulus, I’ve been awaiting you for months. With your parents being such generous donors, I would expect no less of you, but to join our cause. Even if…” The Dark Lord, stopped for a second, “your dear brother surely would’ve been a stronger ally. A pity that he is not willing to join me. But don’t worry,” Again a pause. Regulus couldn’t deny that the man before him was beyond good at keeping his audience captured, “we’ll kill him for that when the time has come.”

It was all Regulus could do not to visibly wince at that statement. Instead he kept himself completely still, following the protocol that Thomas had ingrained in him.

“Yes, my lord.” He answered, after a while of silence. Again the Dark Lord laughed. It was a high-pitched and terrible sound and Regulus knew that it would from now on frequent his nightmares.

“Oh yes, I do enjoy a good murder inside the family. I will make sure that the honour is all yours, Regulus. But you will have to prove yourself first. Say, are you willing to do all it takes for me? To die for me?”

Regulus nodded, now knowing that he would be receiving the Mark.

“Then get up!” He barked and Regulus complied immediately, still keeping his gaze averted.

  
“Look at me!” Regulus did, and this time he couldn’t keep the slightest of winces out of his expression. The man before him was truly ugly. Where his nose should be was nothing but to slits and his eyes were bloodshot and red. Only a few hairs remained on his head and his skin looked gray and worn out.

“Oh yes, I’m sure this isn’t what you expected. Certain actions have a price. A price I was willing to pay. Now… show me your arm.” Regulus held out his right arm.

“Such lovely, unharmed skin. I shall like to see more of it soon. But for now…” He lifted his wand and the searing pain in Regulus’ lower arm left him not a second to ponder the Dark Lord’s statement.

The pain was worse than anything Regulus had ever endured. He fell to his knees, and split open his lip, which he had been biting to keep from screaming. His vision went black and he could barely remember where he was. Images flooded his mind. Sirius smiling at him just after he had told him a secret. His mother cradling Regulus in her arms when he was a small child, but quickly throwing him off her lap when Orion’s footsteps sounded down the hall. Sirius, on the doorstep of their house, looking back at his brother with tears in his eyes, his cheek swollen and bleeding, mouthing a goodbye, before vanishing.

The pain seemed to go on forever, and he was begging to pass out, but no such mercy was ever bestowed upon him. When it finally ended, he could hear Lord Voldemort cackling.

“You did well. Now return to that wretched school of yours. I shall call you back here soon.”

Regulus got up, bowed and left, trying hard not to hurry out of the room, but to leave it as slowly and purposefully as he had entered it. Thomas was already waiting by the door to apparate them back to Hogwarts.

When Regulus looked down at his arm when they landed it was an angry shade of red and smoke was rising from it. And there, in the middle of his underarm, sat the Dark Mark, etched into his skin forever.

* * *

 

It took a moment for Sirius to realise why he had woken up. Remus was wriggling behind him and something hard was repeatedly hitting his back. He smiled and opened his eyes. Their curtains were still drawn but he knew that everyone could hear everything, even the small moans Remus was making in his sleep. And since the room was getting lighter by the second, Sirius felt around for his wand to cast a Muffliato.

Finished with the spell he discarded his wand again and turned around. Remus’ cheeks were red and his mouth slightly open. Slowly Sirius leaned over and kissed his boyfriend softly. It didn’t take long until he kissed back and soon Sirius was on top of Remus, writhing and deepening their kiss. They were both breathing heavily, so buried in their desire that they didn’t notice the curtains being thrown open.

“Sirius, I… oh, oh merlin, I'm so sorry, I'll just…” The normally so confident James blushed and hastily closed the curtains again.

Sirius and Remus stared at each other in shock before breaking out into giggles. James’ reaction had just been too funny. They kissed quickly one more time, before Sirius rolled off Remus and out of bed.

“Mornin’ Prongs. How’d you sleep?” James was sitting on his own bed, still a bit red, but grinning.

“Not as good as you, apparently.” he teased. Remus, who had just joined them laughed.

“I doubt that. This one,” he pointed to Sirius, “hogs the blankets and I'm always freezing”

“Well, I'm hot enough to keep you warm, anyway” The thief in question answered with a smirk and pecked Remus on the mouth. Groaning exasperatedly, James turned away.

“You two… Honestly. Keep it in your pants for one second, please!” Of course this statement prompted a heavy makeout session between James’ two best friends, so he left the common room in search of his own girlfriend.

They had parted ways late last night, after they had sat in front of the fire in the common room for a long while, not talking, just trying to forget about Snivellus. Still, James was wide awake, especially after that display he had just interrupted. He had wanted to tell Sirius all about the disaster of last night, but he would just do that later.

He finally found the redhead at breakfast, where she was talking quietly with Marlene, their heads stuck closely together. By the way the blonde blushed when she looked up and saw him striving toward them, James knew exactly what they had been talking about. He flashed his classmate a lasschivious grin, before approaching Lily and leaning down to kiss her.

The blonde turned away embarrassedly, continuing to eat her breakfast in quiet while the couple next to her got dragged further and further into their kiss. She shook her head, smiling. They would be terrible for the next few weeks. And to think that the most action they had gotten before last night was literally one small peck…

Remus and Sirius’ arrival finally broke the two love birds apart. Marlene smiled at Sirius and his boyfriend, trying to make it look genuine. She had meant it when she had told Sirius that she just wanted him to be happy, but that hadn’t meant that it didn’t still hurt.

Her crush on him had been… special. It was the first time that she had had actual feelings for someone and wasn’t only attracted to them. He had brought out this side in her… She sighed into her porridge, which blew it all over the table. Her friends laughed and she joined in a second later, trying to keep her eyes away from Sirius, whose laugh was ernest and open, his head thrown back, his eyes closed.

* * *

 

Sirius swore loudly as he stumbled over his own foot, falling down to the floor. Apparently it wasn’t enough that he was late for his detention anyway. Frustrated, with himself and the world in general, he continued to lie there for a second longer. Just as he was sitting up again, a hand reached into his field of view.

Sirius looked up to see his brother smiling down at him. He looked around to make sure nobody was around, before he took the outstrechted hand. The movement caused Regulus’ sleeve to ride up just the tiniest bit and Sirius could just snatch a glance of angry black and red skin, before the younger Black tucked down his sleeve with a shy smile.

“Hey brother.” Sirius said, forcing the image out of his mind. It wasn’t often that they were able to speak like this.

“Hey Si.” His brother answered, using his childhood nickname which made Sirius smile even broader. Nobody but his brother was allowed to use it.

They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, before pulling into a tight hug.

“How’ve you been?” Sirius whispered, not loosening his grip on his brother the tiniest bit.

“Not good to be honest. Since you left, Ma and Pa have been way stricter and they’re absolutely paranoid that I’ll leave to, so I’m practically under constant observation. Daisy is trying to help, but what can she do… It’ll be only so long until our only excuse to see each other is ruined because someone runs to them and tells on me banging a muggleborn. Which isn’t even what I’m doing!”

Guilt rained down on the older brother as he listened to this. But not a single grain of regret. He could never have stayed there, he just wished he had been able to take his little brother with him, to get him out of there.

Sirius pulled away, looking his brother deeply in the eye.

“I’m very sorry Reg. I’ll get you out of there, I promise… let me just….”

Regulus interrupted him. “I fear it’s too late for that, Si. But it’s okay, I’m gonna be fine.”

Sirius looked at him doubtingly, but refrained from saying anything. Instead he just squeezed him tight once more, before he continued hurrying towards detention. He didn’t want to say goodbye. Because if he didn’t, their conversation continued, it wasn’t really over.

* * *

 

None of the giddiness Sirius had woken up with remained when he entered the common room later that night. His day had been exhausting and all he wanted to do was fall into bed and forget about it. Remus seemed to have other ideas though. He greeted Sirius with a passionate kiss to the cheers of their peers, before dragging him off toward their dorm, with a wink to the others which was so unlike him that Sirius worried it was a Death Eater in disguise.

“Let’s do it.” The werewolf whispered into Sirius’ neck as they had reached their room. Sirius looked down at the slightly smaller boy and made himself smile. This was what he had wanted for weeks after all. He pushed aside the feeling of complete exhaustion and tipped up Remus’ chin to kiss him.

Their kisses deepend, grew faster and sloppier but Sirius still couldn’t lose himself in the restlessness of their mouths. When Remus tried to take his shirt off, it was too much.

He pushed the other boy off him with more strength than he had intended. Once he had regained his footing, Remus looked at his boyfriend, hurt.

“I’m sorry Moony, I…” Sirius trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“Is it…” Remus swallowed hard, “Is it me?” He pressed out. Shocked Sirius lifted his gaze from the floor.

“No! What would ever make you think that? No, I’m just… I just don’t think I can tonight, Moony, I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think…” In that moment an image flared up in his mind, as clear as though he was truly seeing it right now. “It’s Regulus.”

Moony nodded solemly and stepped behind Sirius to sit down on the bed. Sirius joined him after a second.

“I think he’s a Death Eater.” He didn’t add anything, his voice was shaky already.

Remus tried to hide the shock on his face. Regulus? Sure, the boy had stayed with his family when Sirius had left, knowing that they were involved in business with the Dark Lord. But Regulus had never been a bad guy. He had been practically the opposite of that. Some days Remus even wondered whether he wouldn’t have been better suited in Hufflepuff than in Slytherin. He was a kind, sweet and gentle kid once you truly got to know him.

“Why do you think so?” The werewolf asked gently, trying not to make his question sound insulting.

“I saw his arm.” Sirius head drooped even farther and Remus could hear his voice quivering harder than before. Remus didn’t know what to say. What would comfort his boyfriend in a situation like this? There wasn’t anything, really.

“I’m sorry.” He simply said, gently guiding Sirius to lay down with his head in his lap. He stroked the long black hair as Sirius cried nearly completely silently. They sat there like this for a long while and Remus was grateful that nobody would come and interrupt them right now. Sirius hated being seen crying.

When Sirius’ tears had dried, his sobs had subsided and his breath had stabilized again, Remus made him get up, take a shower and drink something, before he curled up behind his boyfriend holding him tightly to his chest. 


	13. Chapter 13

They woke to a bustling common room the next morning, still curled up together tightly. For a while they just lay there, listening to the sounds off their classmates getting dressed, not saying a word. Last night was still etched clearly into both of their memories.

While Remus was desperately trying to think of a way to help Sirius and to save Regulus, Sirius was trying not to call himself pathetic for crying in front of Remus. It was Remus for Merlin’s sake, and it wasn’t as if there should be shame in crying at all, Sirius knew that.

But he also saw his father’s hands, every time his tears welled up, heard the belt buckle meet skin. Oh yes, crying was not tolerated in the Black household. A shiver went through the blackhaired boy at the memory and he pushed himself tighter against his boyfriend.

Remus went rigid the moment he felt Sirius press against his half-hard member. It was ridiculous, really, hadn’t Sirius already held it in his mouth? But Remus couldn’t help being the slightest bit embarrassed.

Suddenly, Sirius turned around to face him, crushing his mouth hard on his, gliding his tongue into Remus’ mouth immediately. The werewolf moaned loudly against his boyfriend’s mouth, not really caring who heard. Not caring that they were missing classes.

They kissed feverishly, tongues circling each other in a dance of desire, their bodies grinding against each other in a need for friction. Sirius pulled away, feeling around for his wand. As soon as he’d found it, they were both naked, pressing against each other skin to skin now. Remus moaned loudly and gasped in dismay when Sirius pulled away again.

“Wait a second Moony,” He said, breathing heavily, “We should talk about this.”

Remus nodded, though he was still disgruntled at the loss of touch.

“Like who is… who is gonna…” Sirius took a deep breath, “who is gonna top?”

“Me!” Remus said definitively and Sirius nodded, relieved. “Anything else?”

“I just… Do you really want to do this Remus?” In answer the werewolf pulled his boyfriend down again and kissed him hard. Sirius kissed back feverishly and soon they were a heap of moans and frantic limbs again, their fingers exploring the other’s body.

Remus found what he was looking for soon, gently pushing against it. Sirius stiffened and immediately Remus withdrew his hand.

“No, no it’s fine, it’s… good actually, I just need a second to get used to it.” Remus nodded and let his fingers wander back, again pushing gently. When Sirius nodded at him he took a deep breath and pushed inside. He stilled for a moment, letting Sirius adjust, but soon the other boy was wriggling underneath him, begging for Remus to move.

So he did, the small moans and mewls Sirius let out urging him on. Soon as second finger joined the first, spreading and widening. Sirius had his eyes closed now and Remus took the opportunity to look at him, to really look.

The smooth skin, disturbed by scars everywhere. The tiniest soft bulge on his stomach, that was Remus’ favourite place to rest. The strong arms that had acquired all their muscles by carrying around Remus for years. His hair, unruly because Remus had his hands buried there every chance he got.

He tore his eyes away from his boyfriend, instead adding a third finger. It didn’t take long until Sirius was begging for more and faster. Remus pulled away under loud protest from his boyfriend, looking for a condom and lube. Only now did he realise he had forgotten the latter before. He hoped he hadn’t hurt Sirius.

“Remus, please!” Remus smiled to himself and put on the condom before turning back to his awaiting boyfriend. He warmed the lube up in his hands, before spreading it on his cock. Lastly he smeared the rest on Sirius.

“You ready?” He asked, lining himself up. Sirius gruntled.

“Yes!! Please Remus.”

“Please Remus, what?” The werewolf grinned diabollically. Sirius blushed and turned his head away. Remus gently took his chin in his hand and turned him back, kissing him once, quickly before looking him deep in the eyes.

“Please Remus, what?” He asked again, more quietly smirk still on his face. Sirius gulped.

“Please fuck me Remus.” That was it for the werewolf. He checked with Sirius one last time, before pushing in. It wasn’t smooth and it wasn’t one movement either, as he had hoped. Instead it was a lot of bucking his hips and stopping so Sirius could get used to the feeling. Remus didn’t think he could ever get used to this. The heat and the tightness were already eating his up. His veins felt like liquid fire, his vision was compromised to Sirius face.

He kissed Sirius gently and slowly when he was buried inside him all the way. Sirius kissed back and together they began moving, clumsily at first, but after a while they found a steady rythm.

“I love you.” Sirius muttered, overwhelmed by the feeling of Remus inside of him, stretching him wide, making him his. Remsus stilled for a second and Sirius started panicking. But then he was moving again.

“I love you too.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss him. Just as he softly bit Sirius lip, he started pumping his dick. It was unbearable, the overload off sensations and Sirius knew he wouldn’t last long anymore. Remus seemed to sense this, or maybe he was close too, but he started pounding into Sirius faster, jerking him off in synch.

It didn’t take long before they were both coming, Sirius between the both of them, covering them in a sticky white mess, Remus inside of Sirius. He worked them both through their orgasms, before collapsing on top of Sirius, exhausted but smiling.

Also smiling Sirius pushed his boyfriend off him, looking for his wand to clean up the mess he’d made. Eyes closed, but grinning, Remus grabbed the searching hand, stopping it.

“I have a better idea.” And with that he got up, still naked, giving Sirius a full view of his ass as he walked to the showers. As soon as he had vanished around the corner, Sirius hurried to follow.

* * *

 

James spent his classes next to Lily that day. Peter, who had fled the dorm first that morning, sat alone, continuosly looking over at the two of them with pleading eyes. And even though James was ready to forgive him, he wouldn’t give up a day next to his girlfriend for him.

They invited him for their picnic at lunch though, Lily having convinced James that they could have one alone again soon. Sighing, James had given in. So that was how they were now sat on a picnic blanket next to the lake, listening to the noises Peter made when eating.

“So they really just… started doing it?” Lily asked incredulously, still not quite convinced that James was telling the truth.

“Yep. We all fled around the time both of them started moaning loudly most of us still half naked.” Lilly giggled.

“It really wasn’t funny Lils!” James protested, but he couldn’t keep back his own laughter. James noticed how Wormtail tried to evade this conversation, putting more and more food in his mouth, every time he and Lily would ask him a question. In the end he and Lily fell silent, finishing their lunch quickly. James sighed. Apparently it would be harder to forgive Peter and to also get him to forgive James.

Sirius and Remus joined the other Gryffindors in their afternoon classes, blushing wildly. James wolfwhistled at them as they walked through the door to Professor Binns’ classroom.

“There they are, the two lovebirds.” He announced with a devious smirk. The rest of the class swivelled around to see what was going on, causing Remus to seek cover behind Sirius who had started to bow in all directions, blowing kisses.The spectacle ended only when Binns entered the classroom and Remus and Sirius went to find their seats.

Now that all of his friends had someone, Peter was often left out. The first time Lily, James, Remus and Sirius went on a double date, they’d tried to bring him along, but it had become apparent after not even five minutes that Peter didn’t fit and he’d left early. Had he still been a genuine member of the Marauders he might have tried harder to find his way back to them, might have complained that Lily had replaced him.

But as it was, he didn’t really care. He spent a lot of time with Thomas and after swearing the Unbreakable Vow, learning the inner workings of the Death Eaters. He had his first audience with the Dark Lord, pleading that as a spy the Dark Mark would be hurtful to the cause. The truth was that he didn’t trust himself not to make a noise. And Peter didn’t want to die.

One evening he and Thomas were sat under the old willow at the lake, watching some younger students swim. The Marauders had asked him to study with them, but he’d refused. He enjoyed being with Thomas, especially like this.

“Peter?” Thomas asked suddenly, turning towards him.

“Hm?” Peter answered lazily, still lying on his back, his eyes closed.

“Stay still. I want to try something.” As alway, Thomas’ voice was commanding, allowing no refusal, but this time there was something else in it. Something Peter had never before heard in Thomas. Nervousness.

He opened his eyes, to see what was going on and in that second, Thomas was on him, pressing his lips on Peters.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for having this up so late and sorry that the chapters are so short lately. I hope you still enjoy the fic!

Peter froze, his mind blanking for a second. His thoughts came back to him the moment Thomas’ tongue licked over Peter’s still pressed closed lips. He should shove the other boy off of him. This was wrong. But Peter also knew that if he pushed Thomas off now, the other boy would never exchange another word with him. Not only that, he would make sure that from now on Peter’s life was even more of a living hell than it already was. Because Thomas took what he wanted and he destroyed everything that was in his way.

So Peter stayed still, the only movement being the compliant opening of his lips as Thomas’ tongue brushed against them again, this time harsher. He didn’t let out the squeal of pain as Thomas’ teeth drew blood from his lip and he didn’t squirm away when he felt something hard rub against his leg.

Instead he fought to keep down the bile rising in his throat as Thomas movements became more frantic, his mouth only sloppily covering Peter’s anymore. He heard someone scoffing disgustingly and for a second he hoped they would come over and interrupt this. But he hoped in vain.

When Thomas finally pulled away, there was a wet stain on the front of his robes and he was panting hard, smiling at Peter, as if they’d shared a great experience. Peter forced a smile onto his face, pulling his cloak over his own robes, as if he had something to hide. Thomas winked, before kissing him again quickly and getting up to walk back to the castle.

Peter sat there until the sun had fully disappeared and the stars had come out. Had he ever given Thomas any indication that he would be fine with this? Hadn’t he actually done the complete opposite? Peter knew that this would not be the last time, either. He had watched Thomas prey on girls from afar for years, and he kept on taking and taking from them until he left them shattered and drained. A shell of what they had been.

The moment the last hope of the Marauders coming to look for him and finding him was washed away by the last of the light being turned off in the Gryffindor tower, which was visible from where Peter was sat, he got up, nearly stumbling because of his stiff limbs.

He didn’t return to the 7th year sleeping quarters. He had decided he would show Thomas that he was ready to give everything for the cause. And maybe, if he gave of his own free will, the other boy would not have to take violently.

So Peter slipped into the 6th year dormitory, sitting down on Thomas’ bed carefully, so he wouldn’t wake him, before drawing shut the curtains and putting multiple spells on it. He breathed in and out deeply, bracing himself for what he would do. Pulling the picture of the only girl he’d ever crushed on to the forefront of his mind.

He had met Daphne at a party his mother had hosted years ago. He had been forced to attend, but the ever present scowl vanished from his face, when his eyes found the beautiful, black-haired girl, swirling around the room in a deep-green dress. When she had turned to him, without a doubt having felt his gaze, and smiled, her dimples growing wide and her eyes lighting up, Peter had already been gone.

This was what he thought off, as he slowly pulled off Thomas’ trousers, bracing himself again before looking down at what he had just freed. Another gulp of air, before he put his mouth on it.

* * *

 

James jerked away in the middle of the night, when the door to the dormitory was being silently opened and closed again. He lay there for a second, until he could detect the muffled sounds of someone crying. Immediately he jumped out of his bed, to find Peter sitting on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, his whole body shaking with the effort to hold in his sobs.

“Pete, what’s wrong?” He asked, approaching the other boy careful not to touch him. Peter had never liked that. Startled, the boy looked up, a sob stuck in his throat.

“James?”

“Yes, it’s me. What’s wrong Wormy?”

“Nothing, I… just too little sleep, you know, I…” he started to stand, but nearly fell and had to brace himself with one hand on the floor, “I think I’ll just go to bed, everything will be better in the morning.” The last part he muttered to himself, as if to convince himself of it.

James sighed, not knowing what to do or say. So he watched Peter wobble to his bed, before letting himself fall into his own. He was still wide awake when Peter’s quiet sobs turned into calm and regular breathing.

The next morning James was careful to watch Peter closely. But whatever had happened, the other boy clearly didn’t want anyone to know. He was smiling, even joking with Remus, as if he hadn’t come in in the middle of the night, sobbing and crying.

Not believing the show his friend was putting on, James continued monitoring him through breakfast. Nothing changed. Except… there was one instance that Peter’s eyes darted toward the end of the table and he winced, before putting the smile back on his face.

James followed his gaze, to that horrible Gryffindor boy he had befriended. Bright, hot fury rose up in James at the vicious smirk on that twat’s face. If he had hurt Wormtail… As gently as he could, he gripped Peter’s shoulder, silently telling him to follow him. He said goodbye to Lily with a quick kiss before leading his friend out of the Great Hall and into a small broom closet.

“Pete, what’s going on?” The boy was still smiling, looking for all the world as if everything was alright. But James didn’t spend nearly seven years with him for nothing. He could see the absence of light, of real happiness in Wormy’s eyes and the way his dimples weren’t really there.

“Nothing! Really, everything’s fine.” His voice cracked on the last word and James couldn’t help himself. He hugged his friend tightly to his chest, every fight of the last weeks forgotten. At first Peter stiffened, but then he seemed to melt into the hug, holding onto James as though he was his last anchor to this world.

James gently stroked the other’s back, while he shook in his arms, wetting his uniform with his tears. It took the rest of breakfast and half of first period for Peter to calm down again.

“I… I’m sorry… so sorry James.” He croaked, his eyes rimmed red.

“It’s okay Peter. Do you wanna tell me what’s going on? What Thomas did?” Immediately the smaller boy stiffened. James had known it. That loathsome little wanker. He would kill him. Peter seemed to see this in James eyes, because he immediately stepped in between the door and his seething friend.

“Don’t worry James. He didn’t do anything I didn’t… I didn’t want too.” Peter could see the confusion in James’ eyes, could see him think and how understanding then dawned on his face. He had to. If he presented Thomas as his boyfriend it would bring him closer to the Marauders. He would be grateful for this. He would have to be.

“Does that mean… Peter, are you… are you gay?” Hiding his wince, he nodded. He hated himself for this. What would his grandfather and his family say? Would they even care? Wasn’t he an embarrassement already? It probably wouldn’t even matter.

James hugged him again, whispering “It’s okay” in his ear over and over. They pulled apart just in time for second period. Peter knew that he would have to tell Moony and Padfoot now, too. And that he would have to apologise to them again as well. He sighed. He could do it for the cause. For Thomas. But first he had to find the sixth year and tell him about all this.   
After a very teary and huggy conversation with Sirius and Remus and a less happy one with Thomas, who in the end saw sense in Peter’s plan, thank Merlin, they were now sat in the Three Broomsticks, on a triple date with their friends. The whole walk down here had been awkward and silent and it wasn’t going much better now that they had sat down.

Sirius stared at the boy at Peter’s side, his only coherent thought being that he was rumoured to be a death eater. He had to know about his brother. Who knew, maybe the two of them were death eater buddies. He stared and stared, not able to chase the image of Thomas and Regulus on one of the muggleborn raids they had heard of so often these past few years.

When he finally looked back at him, Thomas only smiled, nicely so even, that bastard. Sirius wanted to jump him, to squeeze his throat until he admitted to converting his brother to “the cause” as it was called among death eaters at school. Remus, obviously noticing the waves of murder lust wafting from Sirius, took his hand under the table, squeezing it hard.

Finally, Sirius took his eyes off Thomas, instead looking at his boyfriend, who was smiling at him in such a Remus’ way, that he couldn’t help but to kiss him quickly, but passionately, right there.

Remus giggled in the kiss and when they pulled away, he could feel that Sirius had relaxed.

“Guys… you are hopeless.” James sighed, exasperatedly and buried his head in his hands. Lily laughed. Peter joined in and so did Thomas, hestitantly at first, then with full force. Remus would have never thought that a boy like him would have such a rich and real laugh. Soon they were all laughing, only interrupted when Madame Rosmerta finally appeared at their side to take their orders.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being so late again guys. Summer is more hectic than I thought

They left the three Broomsticks drunkenly laughing together, arms slung around each other. James had decided he liked Thomas. The chap was upstanding and funny, not to mention so sweet to Peter. Maybe he would help him to finally realise his true worth.

Singing they entered the castle, not aware of the late hour. It was Remus who made them aware of the looming detention, but only when they had already reached the stairs.

Professor McGonagall was watching the six students drunkenly climbing the stairs, attempting to be quiet and failing spectacularly. They were unlucky that she had switched patrol with Slughorn that week and that the day had already held an inane argument with Filch for her. She was not in a good mood.

James was just thinking how lucky it was that they were all Gryffindors, because it meant the didn’t have to split up and were able to support each other all the way up to the tower, when he saw Professor McGonagall striding toward them. She did not look happy.

“Guys, shhh! It’s McGonagall!” He hissed towards the others, who were still climbing up the stairs behind him.

“Mr. Potter! Would you care to explain why the six of you are out of bed at this hour?” Behind James, Remus fell over the last step and was helped up by a giggling Sirius. McGonagall sighed. She had wanted to leave this out of their punishment. “And drunk, for Merlin’s sake.” She added.

“I’m sorry, Professor.” James mumbled, his head hung low. “We were out to get to know Peter’s boyfriend. We lost track of time.” Minerva took a sharp breath. Boyfriend? But Potter could impossibly mean Thomas Prewett. He was a horrible boy, enjoyed other’s suffering. You would have never thought that he was Molly’s little brother. He himself seemed to loathe his family, hated when any of his teachers associated him with them.

“You mean Mr. Prewett back there?” She asked, still incredulous, even though there was no other possible candidate to be seen.

“Yes Professor.” James answered, still not daring to look her in the eye.

“Well, you know as well as I do that such behaviour cannot be without consequences. I will see you all in my office at eight o’clock every night of this week. Now off to bed.” Minerva was still to shaken by the news to say anything else, as the six Gryffindors hurried by her and up another set of stairs.

She had indeed noticed the blooming friendship between the two boys, and had been worried by it. She knew how easy to sway Peter was, how naïve and malleable. And Thomas Prewett was someone who manipulated you into doing his bidding while making you think it was your own idea.

Now that she knew what was really going on between them, she was even more worried. The four pranksters had already begged Dumbledore to join the Order when they’d turned seventeen. He had promised them they could after they finished school. If Thomas was so close to them, a boy who had been rumoured to be one of the Dark Lord’s closest confidantes, it could possibly be a danger to them all. She had to inform Dumbledore about this revelation immediately.

* * *

 

Molly Weasley was standing at the sink, washing the dishes from lunch. She had recently taken a liking to washing them by hand, enjoying the simplicity of the task, the way it gave her something else to concentrate on than the constant worry she was currently facing. She was only 28 years old, but already there were lines etched into her forehead.

Somewhere from the living room she could hear the screeching of her three children. Her children. Absentmindedly she stroked over her stomach, leaving a large stain of water on her shirt. Soon there would be two more born into the middle of a war. She felt guilty for it, felt guilty for not taking her preventive potion on purpose. She was responsible that her children would have to endure the state the world was currently in. Sighing Molly returned to the plate she had just been drying.

She dropped it to the floor when the front door was suddenly thrown open. For a second she was sure that this was it. The deatheaters had come for her. For her children. It seemed wrong that the sun was merrily shining through the window, that the birds were chirping outside mixing with the sound of bees buzzing about. Swallowing her dread, and to be honest, her tears, she took a step closer to the door to the living room.

She had long ago hidden a portkey on their mantel. She knew that whoever had entered the house already knew where she was. The crash of the plate had been too loud for them not to notice. But maybe she could still save her children. She braced herself for what was to come and was about to yell to Bill to take his brothers and take the portkey, when the kitchen door opened.

Molly couldn’t believe her eyes. Standing in her door was her brother. Not Fabian or Gideon, but Thomas. She hadn’t seen him since he’d cut ties with the family, barely a year ago. His hair had gotten longer and his eyes seemed darker. He’d lost weight. But he was still, unmistakeably her brother.

She didn’t know what to do. She desperately wanted to take him in her arms, to hug him until she grew tired, but she knew she couldn’t. So she just continued to stand there and looked at him, while he took in the kitchen around him.

“Cosy.” He said, with distaste in his voice. It was clear that it wasn’t meant as a compliment. Then his eyes found the broken plate on the floor. He waved his wand and the shards disappeared.

“Have you lost your magic? Those kids suck it out of you? Or why are you cleaning like a squib?”

Molly’s urge to hug her brother disappeared as sudden as the broken dish had.

“What do you want Thomas?” She asked, taking another step toward the living room. Her brother snorted.

“Don’t worry, your kids are safe. Had I wanted to hurt them, they would already be bleeding all over your precious floor.” Bile rose in Molly’s throat at his words.

“I’m here to see how you are. Believe it or not, I do care about you.” He nodded toward her swollen belly.

“I see there will soon be another one added to the collection?” Molly nodded, not believing a word he had said.

“Two, actually.”

“Twins?” She nodded, and waved him to sit down at the table, busying herself with preparing tea. He murmured his thanks before sitting down.

“Where’s Arthur?”

“At work.” She pressed out. She hated giving him this much information already. Again her brother scoffed.

“He still work for that awful muggle office in the Ministry? I simply cannot understand him. There isn’t even any money to be made there, evidently.” He said, with another look around the kitchen.

Molly gripped the faucet tightly to keep from throwing a hex her brothers way. She was proud of Arthur’s passion for Muggles and their savekeeping. Even though it would be a lie that it didn’t sometimes irk her how little he got paid for his efforts.

“If you must know, it is a very pristine position to be had and I am very proud of my husband.” She sat down a mug before her brother. “But what do you really want? I don’t suppose Dumbledore is handing out weekends away from school for family reunions.”

“Let’s just say he made an exception.” Just like that Molly knew that her brother had not gotten anyone’s permission before leaving Hogwarts. But it wasn’t her problem. He had left their family, he could deal with his own problems.

“But I am here for a purpose. I wanted to finally meet new nephew. Already two, and I still have never seen the boy. Truly, a shame.” Molly shuddered.

“Bill! Come here and bring your brothers.” She shouted. She knew she was older than Thomas by 12 years. And yet she could not bring herself to defy him.   
  
The boys entered the kitchen still out of breath from whatever game they had been playing. Percy was dressed in nothing but a diaper and Charlie carrying a toy broomstick. The boy basically hadn’t let go of it since Arthur had given it to him at Christmas. It had taken Molly and Arthur a month of extreme dieting to afford it, but the happy glow on their son’s face had been worth it. She just worried what would happen when he outgrew it.

“Uncle Thomas!” Bill screeched and was upon his uncle a second later. Charlie followed close behind, already showing off his new toy. Percy followed his brothers, if warily, wobbling a bit on his short legs. Thomas sat down Bill to pick up Percy. Bill, never having been the jealous type, scowled. Molly knew how he felt. Thomas made you feel special, by just looking at you and you never wanted that attention to go away.

“And who have we here? Percy, huh?” He twirled around, the child in his hands, emitting happy screeches. Molly couldn’t help but smile. Maybe Thomas was really just here to meet Percy. Maybe he had come to see that the fight with their parents a year ago had been a mistake.

Peter was standing in front of their mirror, looking at himself from every angle. He had to look perfect for his meeting with Thomas’ family. Thomas had decided that posing Peter as his boyfriend would be beneficial for his rekindling with them. Apparently he had broken off contact a year ago, but needed to get back in their good graces for Voldemort’s purposes.

He had just come back from his visit with his sister, more – Peter didn’t know what to say exactly. It was not as if Thomas was ever really happy – gleeful than Peter had ever seen him.

“Get ready Pete. Molly invited us to family dinner tonight.” He’d said, before forcing a kiss on Peter’s lips. He’d showered twice as long as usual.

Every minute now Thomas would come to get him. He would have to sit next to him the whole evening, smiling, holding his hand, all the while knowing what he’d have to endure when they got back to Hogwarts.

Nonetheless, Peter felt strangely happy. He had been chosen. Maybe not quite in the way he would have wanted, but SOMEBODY wanted him. Thomas trusted him enough to meet his parents. And even if this all was a ruse, it couldn’t be denied that his fellow Gryffindor definitely wanted his body.

And that wasn’t nothing to Peter, who, next to his friends, had never been chosen by any girl, never been wanted. And Thomas didn’t just make him feel wanted. He made him feel seen. He listened. He offered words of comfort if Peter needed them. He knew Thomas wasn’t always a good person. But he was to Peter and that was all he cared about for the moment. 


	16. Chapter 16

Lily waved goodbye to Peter and Thomas, watching them walk down toward Hogsmeade where they would apparate to Ottery St. Catchpole. She had met them while walking back from the lake where Marlene and she had been doing homework. Marlene had stayed at the lake with Jake, her new boyfriend, while Lily had set off in search of her own boyfriend.

When she’d stumbled over the two turtledoves (Literally. She’d been reading while walking again.) they’d excitedly told her how Thomas wanted to fix things with his family again. Lily had been happy to hear it. She knew the family. She’d gone out with Gideon for a while, when she had been a fourth-year and he was in his fifth year. The Prewett’s, and especially his older sister Molly had always been kind to her. She was glad they were getting a son and a brother back.

When they had disappeared from her view, she went back to looking for James. She turned around, debating whether to open her book again, and stumbled into someone. Again. That was it. Noses were to be had out of books when walking.

It took her a minute to recognize, who was sprawled out on the floor before her, a book open on his lap.

“Severus!” she exclaimed. He looked at her, pushing the hair that had fallen into his face away.

“Evans.” He replied coolly, getting up and dusting himself off. “What a pleasure.” He spat and Lily sighed.

“Can’t we just put everything behind us, Sev…erus, and behave like civilized people towards each other?” She held out her hand for him to take. He looked her up and down. His face was still stretched into a sneer, but his expression softened when he saw the hopeful look on her face.

Severus knew it was a bad idea. He knew she was Potter’s now. He knew she didn’t even want to be friends again, only acquaintances. Maybe say hello now and again when they passed each other in the hallway. But he took her hand and shook it.

“Hi, I’m Severus.” He said, smiling in a way he only ever did when he was with her. He’d nearly forgotten how it felt. To smile. Lily smiled back, and that alone was enough to send a tingly feeling down his spine. Shit.

“I’m Lily. Nice to meet you.” She giggled and Severus knew he had to have her. She would be his. No matter what he had to do.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

* * *

 

Sirius entered the common room, his eyes searching for Remus hungrily. He found on their usual couch, completely absorbed in a book. A smile spread on his face. His Remus. Always the bookworm. He walked up behind his boyfriend, threw his arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

Remus blushed, turned his head and kissed Sirius properly. A few second-years sitting nearby giggled. Sirius pulled away, smiled at them and then took Remus hand, pulling him up and to the dormitories. The girls giggled some more.

They were kissing hard and passionately before the door had even closed behind them properly. Remus locked it with a quick spell.

“What’s the occasion?” He asked. Sirius smiled.

“Nothing. Can’t I just want to fuck my,” he kissed Remus jaw, “beautiful,” He kissed the tender spot on his neck and Remus shivered, “well-read,” He pulled off Remus shirt, “hot” he kissed him just at the edge of his trousers. Remus moaned. “boyfriend.” He pressed his lips over the forming bulge in Remus trousers and his hips involuntarily jerked forward.

Sirius laughed, rough and low. Remus closed his eyes, treasuring the noise. A wave of Sirius wand and he was naked. Another and he was blindfolded. Remus gasped in surprise.

“Sirius…”

“Is that ok?” The boy kneeling in front of him asked, already working his hand along the shaft of Remus cock.

“Oh… yes. Oh merlin, yes.” Remus panted, his voice rising an octave on the last word, as Sirius finally put his mouth on him. Sirius chuckled around his cock and the vibration made Remus jerk forward again. Sirius let him fuck his mouth for a few strokes, before putting his hand on his hips to stop him from moving, setting the pace himself.

Remus buried his hands in his long, black hair, pulling softly and it made Sirius work even harder, gliding his tongue up and down the shaft every time he pulled his head up. Every other time he circled the head, making Remus emit the hottest little sounds. He took his time, savouring the feeling of the velvet soft skin at the back of his throat and the salty taste of precum on his tongue.

When he got up again Remus groaned in frustration, his hands reaching blindly for Sirius.

“Re?” He asked, walking behind him and taking him in his hands again, stroking softly.

“Mhm.” He answered, resting his head on Sirius shoulder, exposing his throat. Sirius bit it softly and was rewarded by another moan.

“Can we… switch things up today?” Remus knew what he meant. He hesitated a bit before nodding. They could try and if he didn’t like it, he could still stop it. He felt Sirius smile.

Sirius led him to the bed and softly pushed him down. Remus could hear him undressing. A shudder ran down his whole body, as Sirius covered his body with his. They kissed sloppily, rubbing against each other.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered. Remus smiled.

“I love you, too. Now get on with it.” Sirius chuckled, but Remus could hear him fumbling for the lube. He prepared himself, but it was still a shock when Sirius finger found his entrance, cold from the liquid.

“It’s okay.” He said, feeling Remus stiffen slightly. “Relax.”

Remus took a deep breath, releasing the tension in his muscles. He felt Sirius slip into him slowly, stopping every bit so Remus could adjust himself to the feeling. After a while, he was desperate for movement and he wiggled against Sirius’ finger. Sirius chuckled and pushed in and out, still slowly.

“Sirius!” Remus groaned, trying to sound intimidating, but it came out as a moan.

“Patience, my love.” He said, and Remus could hear the smirk in his voice. But he picked up the pace nonetheless and soon joined a second finger to the first one, stretching gently. Still Remus was surprised at the sudden burn.

“Stop.” He breathed. Sirius did, making to pull out again.

“No. Just… wait.” Remus said, relaxing himself again, concentrating on every feeling beside the burning sensation.

“Go on.” He said after a minute and Sirius did, slowly. It didn’t take long for Remus to start moving against him again. When Sirius wanted to add a third finger he protested.

“No. Just… go ahead.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Merlin, yes, Sirius please.” He begged. He groaned at the loss of Sirius’ fingers, but moaned as soon as he felt his cock at his entrance.

“Sirius, ple…” His voice fell away as the other boy carefully pushed inside him, stopping after the head was buried inside him. It was the strangest sensation to Remus. It burned, though not as bad as it had before, and at the same time it felt… like something had clicked into place inside him. He started moving and before long Sirius was pounding in and out of him.

If Remus turned his head - Sirius using the exposure of his throat to suck on it - he could just glimpse the view of their bodies colliding again and again in the little mirror they had in their room. Fascinated he stared at their naked bodies, watched how Sirius’ (more than cute butt) clenched, every time he thrust into him, how his own legs fastened around his hips, how… Remus vision went nearly black when Sirius hit that spot inside of him for the first time.

Sirius grinned and angled his hips so he would hit the spot again. Remus face was pure pleasure and he could not see enough of it. He was moaning loudly, a mess of “Sirius” and “fuck” and “more.” Sirius was happy to comply, feeling his orgasm coming on. He started moving faster, harder, foregoing any kind of rhythm, needing the erratic slap of skin on skin.

It didn’t take long for them to tumble over the edge, Remus with little help from Sirius. The black-haired boy collapsed on top of his boyfriend, breathing heavily, his eyes closed.

“That was…” Remus began.

“Yeah…”

* * *

 

James found his friends cuddled up against each other in their dorm, both sleeping deeply, Sirius snoring lightly. That wouldn’t have been too bad, or even unusual, except for the fact that they were both naked.

James didn’t know what to do. Should he wake them up? Or would they be embarrassed? He sighed, then walked up to their bed silently and closed the curtains. He fell down on his own bed, stretching his arms behind his head.

James was happy for his friends, of course he was. They had finally found what had been right in front of them for years and they were happy, ecstatic even, and that was nothing small in the midst of this damn war they were in.

But on the other hand it seemed to James that they were slowly forgetting about him. How often in the past weeks had he wanted to talk to Sirius, his supposed best friend, his brother even in some respects. Or to Remus, who always was the voice of reason, who untangled James feelings so quickly and with ease. And how often had they been occupied with each other or had disappeared.

Just then, he heard footsteps traipsing over to his bed. It was Sirius, thankfully dressed in a pair of boxers.

“Hey.” He said shyly, sitting down on the edge of James bed. James sat up, not looking Sirius in the eyes. He was ashamed that he’d been feeling let down by him.

“Hey.” He said back.

“James… I’m worried about…” Sirius stopped for a moment and James was sure that he would say something about them, their friendship and how it felt like they were drifting apart. He looked up, expectantly.

“Regulus.” Something burst inside of James. Anger flooded through him, anger he had only felt toward Snivellus or You-Know-Who. How could Sirius sit there, after weeks of James not getting to talk properly and expect that everything could be about him again. How could he expect James to put every single one of his problems back, so that they could talk about him.

“James?” Sirius asked, worry seeping through his voice. James felt as if he was pulsating, his heart beating fast and his breath coming in short bursts.

“You cannot…” he started, trying to remain calm.

“Sirius, I…” he tried again, knowing an angry rant would not help at all. Sirius just stared at him, perplexed. For somebody who apparently knew him so well, he was totally clueless. It made the anger in James veins grow hotter, his hands were shaking now.

“Sorry.” He clipped and was out of the dorm in less than 20 seconds. He ran. He ran toward the Quidditch field. He needed to get on a broom and fly. Far away from everything that was happening here.

Sirius sat on his friend’s bed, completely clueless as to what had just happened. He had come over to talk to James about how he missed him, but when he had seen the tired, sad expression on his face, he’d opted for something… more impersonal. To James at least. But then…

Sirius had never seen James look at him like that before. It was how he usually got when he saw Lily talking to Snape, or… Wait. That had to be it! Hurriedly, he threw on one of Remus’ hoodies, not bothering with pants. The Gryffindor tower had seen him in boxers plenty of times.

He found Lily in the common room, sniffling silently, Marlene rubbing her shoulder from a safe distance. Because Lily wasn’t sad. Lily was seldomly sad in public. Oh no, Lily was crying from pure, unfiltered rage.

“Hey Lils…” Sirius greeted her uncomfortably, stopping right in front of her.

“What,” she asked, her harsh tone interrupted by a hiccup, “do you want, dickface?”

So, this had been a serious argument. Sirius sighed, and let the insult slide. She would apologise in ten minutes anyway, swearing never to swear again.

“Lily… what happened between James and you?” For a second he was afraid that she’d get up and shout at him, but she just sighed.  
“I told him, I’d reconciled with Severus and…”

“You what now???” Sirius asked, incredulously, his volume attracting the looks of many of the younger students.

“Sorry,” he said, speaking more quietly, “but you forgave Snivellus?”

“Well… yeah. We talked and it’s not like we’re gonna be friends again, just… not enemies anymore. So, I told James and he just,” She paused, gesturing wildly, “completely freaked. Then, when I told him it was none of his business, he told me, that, yes it was, because I was HIS bloody girlfriend now.” Sirius winced.

“And, well… then I exploded. I mean, I knew he was sorry that he’d said it, but that doesn’t change that he did.” Sirius nodded.

“Yeah, that wasn’t right of him to say. But Lily, I think he’s mostly just scared about your feelings…”

“Well, they’re my damn feelings!” She started, but added a second later, avoiding Sirius’ eyes: “Sorry, I’m still riled up.”

Again, Sirius nodded.

“Well, I should go talk to him about this. Now that I think about it… we haven’t really talked since…” And then, another piece clicked into place, and the realization was so ridiculous, that Sirius nearly started to laugh. James… was jealous. He waved goodbye to Lily and Marlene as he went through the portrait hole, already thinking about how he could best fix this.

Regulus was pacing in front of the seventh floor hallway, waiting for the door to appear. He needed to see Daisy. He needed to see her. Now. Finally, the door appeared and he pushed it open with an urgency that threw it against the inner wall.

The room looked as it always did, books lying strewn across the floor, pillows too, the fire in the hearth glowing invitingly. Daisy sat cross legged on a lavender pillow, that Regulus had never seen before, not bothering to look up at the news.

The light of the fire lit up one half of her face, bathing it in an orange glow, her red hair seeming to light up. She had a book in her lap and was holding it open with one hand, her eyes fixed on the page with concentration, her other hand in a bowl full of crisps next to her. Emotions crossed her face in such rapid succession that Regulus had trouble following.

Elation, Surprise, Sadness. She was so wrapped up in her reading, that she missed her mouth with the crisp. Regulus chuckled. That finally made her look up and she blushed as she saw him and registered that he’d just seen that. Regulus’ insides warmed at that picture in front of him.

He closed the door and sat next to her, saying nothing for the moment, enjoying her company, letting it ease his anxiety. He closed his eyes, knowing that when he opened them again she would never look at him the same. He would never get to see her like this again. But he could not hide this from her.

“I killed someone.” He whispered, opening his eyes. 


	17. Chapter 17

  
Daisy looked at her best friend with wide eyes. She had not exactly expected this, but she had known it wasn’t out of the cards. Still…

“Whom.” She asked silently. Reg, who had been looking at the floor, his whole body sunken, suddenly straightened and looked at her with surprise.

“Daisy, did you hear what I just said? I didn’t cheat on a History of Magic exam or accidentally trip someone. I. Killed. A. Person.” She saw the tears glistening in his eyes, took in how he bit his lip to keep himself from crying.

“I know. Whom?” She asked again, not letting him off the hook.

“Her name was Ella. She was a Muggleborn witch and she worked in the Ministry. She has,” He stocked and released a small, sobb-like noise. “She had two kids. Two adorable girls. They’re only three and five, Daisy. And they’re gonna grow up without a mother. Because of me.”

Tears were now streaming down his face, which was contorted in pain. Daisy scooted over to him and hugged him. Silent sobs shook his body as he lay down his head on her shoulder, drenching her top in tears.

“You’re not a bad person, Reg,” She whispered, not knowing whether she really thought that. He had, after all, killed a woman. A muggleborn, like her. Solely for that reason. She wasn’t sure whether she was afraid of him.

“You bothered to find out about her. You’re protecting your brother. The right thing isn’t always the easy one.”

She continued talking to him like that, stroking his back gently. Regulus didn’t calm down for a long time.

“I didn’t want to.” He said, when he finally had. “But they made me. He… he didn’t even have to threaten me. Just the way he looked at me and… And I needed to protect Sirius.”

Daisy nodded solemnly.

“See, that’s why you’re in Slytherin. You do what has to be done.” She paused, looking at him. “You’re gonna be okay, Reg. I will stay by your side. I’ll always…” She breathed in deeply. He’d told her he loved her often, but she had never said the words back. She’d never said them to anyone, actually.

“I’ll always love you.” She whispered the last words. She could feel Regulus’ eyes boring into her, but she kept her own stubbornly trained on the floor.

“You do?” He asked softly. Daisy nodded, slowly raising her head.

“I do, Reg. Whatever happens.” She smiled at him, a little insecure, but he smiled back and in that moment his smile was all she needed for the world to be okay.

It was midnight by the time Sirius finally slipped back into the common room, flashing Lily a smile. She hoped it meant that everything between him and James was resolved and that she’d now get her own chance at redemption.

James traipsed in behind his best friend, his eyes trained stubbornly on the floor until right before he reached Lily. Then he looked up, directly into her eyes, the apologetic smile she knew all too well after all these years.

“Lils, I’m sorry. It’s none of my business who your friends are or who you forgive.”

Lily nodded, trying to look stern, but on the other hand feeling so guilty for the fight herself, that after a moment she could do nothing but kiss him.

“It’s okay James. I understand. Just don’t… don’t say stuff like that again, okay?”

James nodded vigorously, pulling her close again, softly pressing his lips on hers, revelling in the feeling of it, the fullness of her lower lip in his mouth as he gently bit it, the sound of her responding moan, the fluid movements of her body against his, …

Then, the portrait suddenly opened, spilling two laughing and talking boys into the room. Lily made to pull away in surprise, but James kept her close, only looking to see who dared interrupt this perfect lead up to make up sex.

“Wormtail?” he asked in surprise? Out of all of them, he was the one who hated breaking curfew the most. But then he saw Thomas was accompanying him, and it all made sense. Their hands were clasped tightly together, and Peter’s neck showed evidence of what was likely a heavy make-out session.

Lily pulled free from him and walked over to the two of them to hug them.

“How’d it go?” Now James was truly confused. How’d what go?

“Oh he was bloody brilliant!” Thomas exclaimed so enthusiastically that it was immediately apparent that they were drunk. He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek.

“He blew them all away, and they all said what a good influence he must have on me and welcomed me right back into their arms! We’re gonna spend the summer with them, aren’t we Peter?” Wormtail nodded.

James looked helplessly at Lily, even more confused than before. She smiled at him in a way that said: “Later.” and then turned back to Wormy.

“That’s so great Pete! And Thomas, I’m sure Molly is so happy. I know she missed you.” Thomas smiled at her and James couldn’t help but to take a step toward her. He grabbed her hand.

“C’mon Lily, let’s go up to bed.” He made sure to wink at the younger boy. Lily looked back at him and smiled.

“Yeah, let’s go.” She said in a breathy voice and James shuddered.

“Sleep well!” James called to the two boys they left behind as Lily dragged him up the stairs to the girls’ common room.

Lily grinned as James stopped dead before her door. She knew exactly what he was thinking, but she had asked the others to room with the 6th years tonight.

She opened the door and dragged James inside. He followed, if hesitantly. The moment he saw that nobody was inside he pressed her flush to him and opened her mouth in a passionate kiss. Again he bit her lower lip and her whole body seemed to tremble.

“James, Merlin, James.” She mewled pressing herself against him, moving her hips subtly, trying her hardest to make a moan escape him. But James seemed determined to deny her the pleasure, so she pulled away, looked him directly in the eyes and then, slowly, dropped to her knees.

James looked at her from above incredulously and for a moment Lily revelled in the feeling of being able to surprise him. She smirked at him, as she pulled down his pants and underpants in one smooth movement while he watched fascinatedly.

James gasped as Lily’s mouth grazed the head for the first time, but still he didn’t moan. Lily kept his eyes captured in hers as she slowly, deliberately took him whole into her mouth. She concentrated on keeping back her gag-reflex, then, when she felt herself to be under control, she flicked her tongue up.

And finally, finally James moaned. Lily savoured the sound and repeated the motion several times, just as slowly as before, until James hips started to buck, forcing himself into her mouth faster and faster. She let him for a few seconds, always withdrawing when he hit the back of her throat to hard, before capturing his hips with her hands to still him.

“Sorry…” James gasped from above. With him still in her mouth, Lily just grinned, sure her face must be the most ugly grimace, but James moaned again when he looked down. Lily licked along the shaft a last time, before getting up.

She kissed James, but it wasn’t long before he picked her up and threw her onto the bed, softening her fall with a cushioning charm. Lily giggled, but stopped abruptly when James dropped onto his knees before the bed and spelled her clothes gone. She gasped in pleasure as he kissed her thighs and moaned when his tongue touched her.

Lily was certain that her moans could be heard throughout the whole castle but, fuck, she could not have cared less. She buried her hands in his hair, trying to tuck him closer, aware that that was near impossible.

“James please!” She could feel him smirk against her, but he didn’t move away.

“Merlin, James, for the love of god, please.” This time he giggled and the vibrations made her moan.

“Please?” He taunted, replacing his tongue with his fingers. Lily groaned, not quite exasperatedly.

“Fuck me.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you.”

“James, I swear to god, if you aren’t inside me immediately, I will fucking kill you!” James laughed but did as Lily demanded and retreated. For a second Lily mourned the loss of touch, but there wasn’t much time, as in the next second, James was already inside her.

He didn’t wait for her to adjust, but started moving hard and fast. Lily moved against him, angling herself so he could push deeper inside her. They were in sync so perfectly as though they were one, their moans, the slapping of skin creating a kind of music completely unique to them.

It didn’t take long for James to jump over the edge, stilling inside of Lily, kissing her neck hard, leaving marks of claim that Lily knew she wasn’t going to conceal. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long. School starting had me overwhelmed...

Peter was lying next to Thomas, who was already fast asleep. His chest was rising rhytmically and Peter couldn’t help but stare and wish it would stop. He was yearning to make it stop. To squeeze his neck so tightly, mirroring the bruises he constantly had on his own now, until there was no movement in the boy next to him.

Peter didn’t know where these thoughts were coming from. He turned around, trying to think of anything else and got dressed again. He could feel his backside aching, a constant thrum that never really went away now. He winced as he got up, setting one foot in front of the other, slowly and deliberately, until the pain subsided far enough to let him leave the dorm quickly.

It had become a new habit for him to wander through the castle at night, instinctively ducking the patrols. He had found he could barely sleep anymore, least of all next to Thomas, who insisted Peter spend the nights in his bed. So he found himself wandering to the most abandoned parts of the castle, rooms they had found when he’d still truly been with the marauders and life had been better. There he stayed, sometimes just looking at the stars, sometimes walking around in a circle for hours on end.

Tonight, Peter found himself in the east wing. There was a room behind a wall that would only open for you when you made it a poem. Peter entered after what must’ve been half an hour. He had always been bad at rhyming.

The room hadn’t much changed over the past few years, only that the classroom chairs which had been there before, had been transformed into lounge chairs and one chaise longue. Peter smiled at the memory, thinking of how long it had taken Sirius and James to decide on colours and fabrics.

He laid down on the chaise longue now, a velvety thing of deep red, one of Sirius creations. He was just thinking that he might be able to sleep, when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a silvery light dancing next to him.

He bolted upright, looking around frantically. There was nobody casting a spell. He told himself to calm down and then looked at the silver thing more closely. It seemed to be a ghost, but it was unlike any other Peter had seen before.

It took a lot of strenthgh for his mind to see the whole corporeal form and not only the whispy silvery light that had spooked him earlier.

The ghost was that of a young woman, probably a bit younger than he was. Her hair was short and she might’ve been beautiful, were it not for the desperation and pain in her face. When she found Peter looking at her, she smiled sadly.

“So, you can see me,” Her voice was thin, barely there, just like she seemed to be. Peter nodded, stunned.

“Not many people ever can. Even the other ghosts often overlook me. So I come here, where I can’t bother anyone by not being seen.”

“Why… are you like this?” Peter asked, wincing at his words the moment after he spoke them. The girl turned away, as though she was ashamed.

“When I… died, I was already half were dead people should be. Away from this world, in another plane of existence nobody ever gets to see before they’re well and truly dead. I glimpsed it, was halfway there… but then something pulled me back. I think, part of me is still there, waiting for the rest to arrive. So I am even less here than the other ghosts. I am but an afterthought, something so barely there it escapes the mind as soon as it’s processed it.”  

The girl sighed deeply, turning back around to Peter, who was still sitting on the chaise longue, gripping the edge tightly and not knowing what to say.

“It’d probably for the best if you’d forget me too. It’s easier, sometimes, not thinking about what’s there.”

“I know what you mean. I actually came here to not think.” Peter answered, looking down.

“I'm sorry. I won't ask what happened.” The ghost flew nearer a bit, her expression now less sad and more… eager? Peter wasn't sure.

“Except if you want to tell me.” Peter thought she was whispering but he couldn't tell. Her voice seemed more like resonating air than a real voice.

Peter looked up and she was nearer than expected, her face the only thing visible to him right now.

“I don't know. It's a long story.”

The ghost giggled. Or at least Peter thought it was a giggle.

“I have time. We can start with your name.”

“Peter.” he nearly held out his hand, then remembered she wasn't corporeal and put it in his hair instead.

“I'm Lola.” The name didn't fit her depressing state.

“I don't know where to start. I… I fell out with my friends.” Lola sighed as if she knew the problem. “And I found… actually he found me a new friend. And I look up to him. He's so nice to me. And then… he started wanting to sleep with me. He's kinda dangerous. So I went with it. And now I guess I don't know how I feel about him. I don't like sleeping with him.”

He stopped, having noticed that sob like noises were coming from Lola. He got up to get to her, since she had drifted away. Stretching out his hand to comfort her. It went right through her.

“What's wrong?”

“I see so much of me in you. I had a friend too. I didn't go with it. He didn't care. After that I didn't care anymore either. I just wanted peace.”

Her form seemed to glow red.

“And now I don't even have that.”

Peter shrunk back against the wall. His head was suddenly thrumming.

“I'm really sorry Lola. But I do think I have to leave now.” He turned around, nearly running out of the room, back to Thomas.

He stole back into the dorm quietly and carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. Thomas was still sleeping, his chest rising and sinking rhythmically. Not even in sleep he looked truly peaceful.

Peter wasn't sure anymore what he felt when he looked at Thomas. He loved him, he was certain of that. Thomas had looked at him, seen him, when nobody else had. He had made him smart and cunning and honoured. He was disgusted and in awe by how Thomas took what he wanted without regards to anyone else. Loathed how false Thomas was to "his friends", loved how honest he was to Peter. What was all that in one emotion?

* * *

 

Lily awoke with an uneasy feeling. She knew she had fallen asleep in James arms, the aching in her legs proved it. But there was nobody to be found next to her. She sat up groggily, rubbing last nights sleep out of her eyes. The room wasn’t empty.

Alice had returned and was now looking at Lily, a small smirk grazing her lips.

“Rough night?” Lily grinned.

“Rather the opposite.” She got up and quickly threw on a robe.

“By the way, have you seen James?” Alice nodded.

“Yeah, he was running around like crazy in the common room this morning.” She looked at Lily expectantly, but only got a confused stare back.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten what day it is! That’s nearly worse than missing birthdays with them.” Lily, still confused, got out her calendar. Oh, of course! It was the first of April.


End file.
